aw this is sad, yet everyone goes through it.

Brilliant.

I can honestly say that this is, perhaps, one of the most creative one-shots I have ever read.

Although sleeping with make-up on would probably give her more blemishes. Clogs the pores!!:P

how marvelously satirical. It was almost Hemmingway-ish at the start, like the understated, raw prose. But it fleshed out towards the end. To be honest, I think I like it better without the last part. And I realize, too, that that's the "clincher", and is supposed to make the reader exhale and think "God...how pathetic". But it almost makes it more of a joke, I guess. A little too obvious. I think what would make it better is if it didn't sound like you were writing satirically at all, particularly considering that you're writing in first person, and people are seldom satirical about themselves. If you just sounded perfectly serious about it all, and eliminated the parts that were a little absurd (like the last part), it would seem more...refined, or subtle, I guess?