Wow. I agree with TMO. At the end, there really is stillness.

And I can actually picture the scene, somehow. I could see soldiers, crouching down and looking around just waiting, and being silent.

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I must say, out of the entire thing, I liked the ending the best. The poem as you wrote it, is a fluid thing, a thing in motion, and you end it by saying "Be still." which I think is fitting given the poem. Once the poem stops, there really is stillness.

-TMO