FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Cthulhu Is An Awesome God 2008-04-09 ch 1,  | abuseNicely done. That particularly reminded me of William Faulkner's As I lay Dying, with all the ambiguity and crazy metaphors. I think you should try and capture the tone a bit more, wiht fragmented sentences, misspelled words, and more accents. That would make it a little more natural-sounding and draw the reader in a little more. Other than that, I think you did a very good job and I certainly enjoyed this surreal tale. |