 gg. lass 2008-03-24 . chapter 1i love this.
my only critique is on the last stanza wen u say 'and strait into my spine and lungs my heart lips mind.' you should say 'and strait into my spine and lungs, my heart, lips, mind.' cause the commas help it flow better.
this is an amazing poem and i can relate completely.
yours until the wind changes,
gg |