Reviews for Phoenix's Reign - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Phoenix's Reign - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 10,	abuseWrite more plz!
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 9,	abuseUh-oh. That can't be good.
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 7,	abuseLOL to the part when Fy says something 'bout kids an' it startles Ash. Fy shouldn't have messed with Salem's things. That was probaly a dumb move. Good chapter.
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 6,	abuseO! Was that some foreshadowing?? ?_?
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 5,	abuseI am sory, but I laughed whenever I read the part with the man blocking the exit. THat was funny. Good chapter. Okay, erm... I wonder what happened when Fy left... Will we find out?
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 4,	abuseThat's good. I want more. So, I will review this chappie before I continue to read. I think that it is a good chapter. Is Aura/Salem something other than what she said she was? Is Fyra right about her being an assassin? The one thing that I would reccomend is slowing things down a bit. Could you also add in some description of things? EX-Where they are. It is good, as I said.
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 3,	abuse... Wow... I don't know who to feel sorry for... It's a good story, but I's be curious as to how these companions came to be with one another.
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 2,	abuseThat's interesting. I wonder if this Phoenix person is the lady that we met in the prologue... Is everything going to be alright with Aura? What is Len inheiriting? What happened to the girl in the begining? Is she Fyra?Hm... I am just going to have to wait and find out, huh? Oh,well. You are a good author, and I think that this story is getting better and better.
Chandra Grace 2008-06-28 ch 1,	abuseThat was sad. It was well written, though. I wonder what is going on... Anyways, I like it. It would be cool if this became a real book because I know that I would buy it. It is good so far. Thanks for the translation at the bottom. Well, I am just going to go now and continue reading...
MagicWords 2008-06-23 ch 10,	abuseGosh i love this story. yet i do have a uno problemo... sometimes when you (and im using "you" generally) have three or more people in dialogue, it helps to state who is speaking after the quote. sometimes i got a little mixed up: if len or salem or sayen were speaking. just something perhaps to consider when writing your next chapter. now for a question: is the part in salems flashback two different time periods. like when she is frist talking to sayen and then all of a sudden there is a fire. maybe i just didnt read clear enough but if it was, seperate it by a "--" or something cuz i was kinda confused. however, i love this story to pieces and kept wondering if you would update soon. i cant wait to see what this major plan turns out to be! write more soon
MagicWords 2008-06-08 ch 8,	abuseok so i know im backtracking and all but i gotta say that i really enjoyed chapters 7 and 8. i think that you are really good at expressing your characters dialogue here. They seem to really "pop" out of the story more now that I'm getting a feel of their personalities. Really enjoying it. Hope you write more soon!
MagicWords 2008-06-05 ch 9,	abusestill loving this story. can't wait to find out what happens next. just be sure to revise, maybe add some more description on places. just a suggestion.but other than that, it's awesome.
HGiel 2008-06-04 ch 9,	abuseShe passed out! Poor thing~ I was going to say, why so short?! But two chapters~ I look forward to more, will there be one or two next time?
MagicWords 2008-05-31 ch 7,	abusethese 7 pages have been fabulous. ive been so intrigued in this the whole story and its my #1 favorite on fictionpress. keep writing cause im so anxious to read more! keep up the good work!
Teffie 2008-05-27 ch 1,	abuseThis is an interesting start. I like how you keep it short and sweet, enough to pull the reader in. I think you could have used a bit more sensory detail. I found one small grammar error: "“I will never let you harm my people! I will not die until I see your blood on my hands, and hear your heart stop!” She wailed viciously" "She" should be lower-case. And...that's it! I look forward to reading more.

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