Reviews for The Last Khalid - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: The Last Khalid - Reviews: Page 1 of 11

Twilight Starr 2008-07-21 ch 20,	abuseTommy was definitely creepy in this chapter. If I was Ian I would be running in the opposite direction rapidly. Great job at showing Tommy's character with the "stupid things" wording. It was very speech analysis-y. I like Nithya's slip about Khali and Eilam's togetherness. Nithya's phone call sort of made me think she was lying about the Khali telling her to call part and that she was trying to patch things up with Ian. It seemed like she stressed the point of Khali being super busy, but maybe that's just me. I like Nithya's POV of about Eilam's jealousy. I can sort of picture Nithya and Eilam getting together. Nithya's happiness/whatever-you-want-to-call-it would off set Eilam's --err-- whatever-you-want-to-call-that. Congrats on all the SKoW nominations. I hope you win. Ha. I'm trying to do longer reviews. Can you tell? Nice work. Keep writing! ~Twilight Starr~
Demonic Huntress 2008-07-21 ch 20,	abuseHaha. I clicked the "Go", just like you told me to :D. Good chapter! I think my favorite part of this one was the "For being jealous". It definitely lightened the otherwise somewhat tense mood. Update soon!
written 2008-07-20 ch 20, anon.	abuseyou did have a lot of nominations, didn't you! nice chapter... so um... eilam and nithya? they would be... kind of cute... just saying. ps. gained a lot of respect for eilam when he didnt go through with the ritual thing. lalalalala.
written 2008-07-20 ch 18, anon.	abusedon't burn out! i know how that goes... anyway, still in suspense for ian... and very interested about that picture lena drew! i hope he doesnt become a demon D:
written 2008-07-20 ch 17, anon.	abusehaha. I'm supposed to be asleep right now. the end of this chapter was indeed magical! i'm afraid of what might happen next though... tommy doesnt sound like he's up to much good.
Written 2008-07-20 ch 16,	abusee! this chapter was so hilarious but omg my mom is about to catch me online G2G. but srsly. funny. hilarious. omg.
Mister Black 2008-07-19 ch 20,	abuseFinished! Nearly all of my gripes were cleared up. I do believe that you should have mentioned the fact that Eilam and Khali were more than just "brother and sister" a little eralier, but that's neither here nor there. I've pared down my issues list to one: All right...so. When is Ian going to find a spine? This story's not dark enough to end tragically, and I just don't see how it won't if Ian doesn't make a choice. I'm wondering what it's gotta be to push him to one side...is Tommy going to need to commit an atrocity? I hope not...I don't think that'd fit in well in a story like this. Is Ian going to learn something horrible about Khali? I really doubt it, because I'm sure Ian's not going to choose to leave her. But, as for now, Ian's just not doing what he needs to do; make a decision. That's not out of place or anything, he's the gullible, trusting type, so no complaints there...but how's this one going to come home? At this point, what's to stop a tragic ending from happening? I can't figure it out, and I'm usually perceptive about things like this. Finish fast so I can find out, 8.Black
Katie Saychiadu 2008-07-18 ch 20,	abuseOh, where to begin! 1. Love the chapter title. 2. The first part with the tomato was GROSS and AWESOME! I laughed so hard. 3. Then, Tommy got mean and I wanted to slap him, but still, it was great. 4. AND THEN NITHYA! I had suspected about Khali and Eilam, but it was always mentioned that they were like siblings, so I just thought I was wrong, but NO, I was right! HA! Yuck. Poor Khali... LOL just kidding. 5. Greatness all around. I'm just waiting for Khali and Ian to talk about the whole incident from "last night". YAY! Oh, and did I mention that Tommy scares me? In a good way!
Mister Black 2008-07-17 ch 10,	abuseI wish I had more time to finish reading this. I could only make it halfway through before I looked at the clock...I've got an exam to take in a few minutes. So much for my last-minute studying... I do have a few small issues, namely a few questions that I have that haven't been answered (although, you don't need to actually answer them...just address them) But then again, what do I know? I still have to read half of what you've got so far! So don't worry. I'll post a real review soon, 8.Black
Dot Cubed 2008-07-17 ch 20,	abuseTOMMY NO (there should be a lot of 'o's there to convey my voice of doom, like in the movies where someone's falling off a cliff or something). Stop being really super creepy! Because now my Tommy love and my Ian love are aruging against each other! Ahaha, I love how he threw tomatoes at Ian. But then he stopped being awesomeincubus!Tommy and instead starting being supercreepydemonicincubus!Tommy and that was no fun! I want Ian and Tommy adventures as much as the next person (okay I'm probably the only person but whatevs) but they can't be awesome if Ian doesn't want them to be awesome. Haha okay, they got better in the end there but STILL. Nithya I love you! And okay, she and Eilam are totally totally in love with each other. Like, for serious. Here is the evidence: "She’s one of the best looking people here". AHA HE LOVES HER/at least thinks she's good looking. And now they're stuck together! See now Eilam is becoming likable in my eyes because Nithya helps balance him out with her powers of awesome. Khali and Eilam were together at one point? I'm sorry but no. Good to know it was a while ago. I like Nithya's reasoning on Eilam's jealousy, though. Okay there was a surprising lack of Khali in this chapter! Like she only got to be awesome near the end. Actually there was a lack of Khali/Ian in this chapter, which was sad. At least there was some Ian and Tommy adventures though. Oh, and just so you know, they can't kill Tommy. Because then I will refuse to update OGAGH. (hahaha)
mia5081 2008-07-17 ch 20,	abuseWhoa. Total craziness. Tommy is psychotic (literally). He needs to be taken out quick, because Ian can NOT end up being a demon. No, can't happen. And, Eilam and Nithya? I'm thinking that they would make a...cute-ish couple. You know, if Eilam decides not to go through with the ritual. So lesson learned: Never wash yourself in tomatoes. It's disgusting lol. 'Kay, I'm off to work again (yay! More looking through submissions--kill me now) :D Update soon! ~Mia
Katie Saychiadu 2008-07-10 ch 19,	abuse1. Dum dum dum! I wonder if Eilam would really do it and what exactly Ian needs to do to prove himself! 2. Awesome: “Well, I don’t know. What’s in it for me?” 3. Svetlana! HA! I almost forgot about her! 4. Of course their intense scene on the counter is interrupted with Ian stumbling, LOL. Great though! And then the embarrassment when they were caught! 5. Nice text messaging. I like Nithya a lot! 6. Overall a nice long update! I saw this earlier in the evening (I've been weird lately and haven't even checked email over the past couple of days) but I wanted to wait until my daughter was in bed because I like to have NO distractions when reading Khali updates! Now, onto my review of your profile which I haven't read in ages: 1. Best line: I was completely bald until age 2, and that was all the hair I had grown during my entire life. No, not really. I lie sometimes. LOL! 2. Yes, I remember Blink 182! 3. Second best line: Shoot me for having an imagination. 4. YES Sitcoms :) 5. Your description of the Tommy demon is way better than the picture on your profile, but it was awesome to see that just the same! Wait, I just read your paragraph and I think Tommy is a combo of the demon and the creepy devil horse. Perfect. Anyway, reading this chapter made me feel better. I've been in a weird mood lately, so hopefully you've inspired me to keep living. Okay, that was dramatic, LOL, but I can be that way sometimes. HA! Great update!
Twilight Starr 2008-07-09 ch 19,	abuseSorry for taking so long to review. It got lost in my inbox. The "I love you" moment was definitely awkward and realistic. Nithya's text was cute. It was nice of Eilam to text him and reassure him. Great job! ~Twilight Starr~
Dot Cubed 2008-07-09 ch 19,	abuseUm, of course we're talking about Tommy anyway. I am betting the squishy thing was Tommy, beating Ian up for not being a demon and having Ian and Tommy adventures. Anyway, LOVED this chapter. Um, okay, Ian? You are the cutest thing to ever exist on the entire planet. When he said "love you" to Khali I literally just squeed and jumped out of my seat. THEY ARE ADORABLE. They are too adorable for WORDS, honestly. And holy crap, best scene ever and then Eilam and Nithya walked in on them! Ahahahaha I could not stop laughing. So I was kinda on and off about Eilam this chapter, and I have totally become an Eilam/Nithya shipper just from this line: "Something about Nithya's movement seemed to calm Eilam down". THEY ARE SO IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. Like, seriously. They're both totally in denial about it, and Eilam's like a bunch of years older than her, but they are totally happening at some point please? Because Nithya deserves to have the big romance she wants! And maybe she can even make me like Eilam! Oh, okay, I was reading the part where Ian was thinking about Svetlana and for some reason I was just totally like, "you're going to make Ian leave Khali for her!" Because he keeps thinking about her! It better not happen, though, because I will get very upset, because basically Ian and Khali need to be together. But so do Ian and Tommy, just not in the romantic sense. My Khali love and my Tommy love are battling each other! It's conflict! Okay, I really shouldn't write reviews at like three in the morning. This probably makes no sense.
Demonic Huntress 2008-07-08 ch 19,	abuseExcellent, as always! :) It's nice to hear that you're not AS stressed as you were. I'll be waiting anxiously - er, I meant very patiently - for the next chapter. =D

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