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| Written 2008-07-23 ch 1,  | abusewhat an amazing write for having writer's block! i'd say you thoroughly conquered it. the imagery is stunning and I can almost taste something beating under my tongue. |
| fatbird33 2008-07-14 ch 1, | abusegreat descriptions |
| bavand 2008-05-28 ch 1, | abuseOh man, if that's the result of being blocked--you should be blocked a lot--and I really mean that in a good way. Ditto to all the above, Julie |
| BlackestOpal 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abuseSpectacular. I loved the parts in brackets. They were a nice addition. "all that glitters needs a place to die," was very good. |
| Laura Elizabeth 2008-05-08 ch 1, | abuseI can tell you really let go when you wrote this one. It's terrific. I wish that I could let my mind go like that. Your phrasing is awesome. I always have a hard time with writer's block, and not very many things seem to work. Even writing stream of conscious style is difficult. You seemed to conquer your writer's block very well =] Great job! -Laura |
| Jesse the Storyteller 2008-04-20 ch 1, | abuseWOW this is beautiful. (Of course it is, you're talking about stars - how can it not be?) I don't understand the part in parenthesis... is it a quote from someone else? It shouldn't be all seperated like that if it's not because it takes away from the fluidity of the poem. Your words are wonderful. I want to soak them in. "The sight of sugar sizzling on my skin" (alliteration!) I love the last 4 lines especially. Ah this is brilliance. Lurve! I never do this, but this poem reminded me of this weird doodly-thing I wrote under "Scenes for Practice" called Stars... yeah. Don't read it out of spite against my shameless plug here... but when I read the line "and bid them fall to my extended fingers" I thought of my own writing (because I am just THAT conceited) and thus this message. -Jesse Beware the review marathon! (link in my profile) |
| Coleer 2008-04-15 ch 1, | abusewow...this was so...different |
| Perfectly Paradox 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abuseI like the complexity of this. It leaves the reader to really ponder it. I love line 3. I also like the alliteration, "sugar sizzling on my skin." Also, "slaver" is an excellent word, very onomotopoeic. You have great diction. |
| SEMMU 2008-03-31 ch 1, | abuseVery beautiful imagery. I particularly like the lines: "I might crane an ear and listen as their insides hum like angry spirits caught by their own webs" "Hunger-bitten, I gape at stars and bid them fall to my extended fingers." For me, I see a poem describing someone with contempt (which I share) for the Hollywood types. I see a person who will enjoy their falling from infallibility and laugh as they are destroyed by their own creations. I'm jealous. You're an amazing writer, and so young. I know talent and hard work are two ingredients and you make me feel sorry for myself that I skipped every English class that I could. Write on. |
| electric feel 2008-03-31 ch 1, | abusethe imagery is so unique |
| kloun doll 2008-03-28 ch 1, | abuseI like this part: I will not forget my thanks, though my mouth will slaver at the sight of sugar sizzling on my skin. (And will they weep to fall so from the sky?) it's sweet, sounds as sweet as a candy |
| Bazooka Joy 2008-03-26 ch 1, | abuseAre you sure you have writer's block? lol. Amazing imagery indeed. |
| Aomera 2008-03-25 ch 1, | abusei am in love with this poem. i have this fetish for the stars and the moon and this has to be one of the best, probably the best, poem ive read about stars. its just perfect :) i love the poem on your homepage thing btw :D |
| clumsybella15 2008-03-25 ch 1, | abuseAmazing imagery. |
| follow the night light 2008-03-24 ch 1, | abusewow! this is awesome... |