ohh I am slightly confused byt I am interested in this story I also would like to read more to know about her story

I hope you update soon and I thought I let you know that you're doing a great job!

Ah, okay. So there IS more third person. I think I like it more than first in this story. The way you write it just seems smoother to me.

I'm glad that it was said that Mia had flaws. In a lot of stories, the main character's just /perfect/ so it was nice to read something that broke out of that.

:O I really really like Max already. He seems like a fun character. (And I like goggles...)

xo
Lain from RK

Aw, I was kind of hoping that the story would stay in third person, but it being in first person does give a good insight on exactly what Mia’s feeling and thinking.

Again, I like how there are so many different kind of…races or whatever you’d call it. Like with the werewolf as the maid.

Mia seemed kind of at ease with everything. o.o I might be freaking out if I were in her position, but it sounded like she wasn’t missing much back home, so I guess that’s understandable. :)

xo
Lain from RK

Third time's the charm. But since I'm at work, and my supervisor that was sleep is finally awake and walking around, I'm gonna have to make this short.

This chapter was good as well, I could understand Mia's nervousness about meeting Luciar and Marcus. And Luciar's/ Marcus' comment about humans not being much to look at, lol.

And Max is cool, the only perso besides Ivan, I guess that is willing to get to know her more personally than being a person that has to be watched.

Good chapter.

C.S.

Back again.

[I began to wake up but I didn't want to wake up and face the pain.] Maybe you cold omit one of the 'wake up's' to avoid repetition.

[That couldn't be right, I fell asleep in the graveyard in the wood where my father had dragged me to in the middle of the night.] Wow, her father had dragged her to the woods, that's crazy.

[total, there were three doors, one of which the man had appeared through, and two others that were nearer the bed but there were no windows for some reason. ] No windows normally means you're a prisoner, lol.

[In short, he was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen.] Lol, I could imagine with startling green eyes he couldn't be anything but beautiful.

["Mia Stevens," I told him, shaking his hand gingerly.] I always thought the name Mia was cute.

["The Immortal realm," Ivan answered simply.] LMAO, and this is when I would've been like, 'And tehy told me I'd see it when pigs flew.' He gave her such an obvious answer, it's funny.

[As he spoke, Ivan brought up his hands and I saw that metal cuffs were fastened around his wrists and a couple of chain-links hung off of each cuff.] It's call the immortal realm arrest, lol.

Another great chapter. I like Mia's attitude and acceptance of the situation- i's not like she could do anything else, lol. But her calm demeanor that you portrayed was good.

The only thing I noticed was that you changed tenses in the chapter towards the end.

C.S.

Sorry for taking so long to review, work has been hectic among other things. But I made in time.

[He closed his startling green eyes and with one beat of his pure white wings, he sped through the air.] This is an interesting sentence. One, because I've seen eyes described in many ways, bu never startling, and two, in a small way I could imagine him speeding through the air. Thanks to movie, lol.

[Eventually, he found it and alighted on one of the stone crosses that littered the human graveyard.] Okay, how ironic. I'm guessing from the summary that he's the angel, and normally it would've been assumed that the meeting would be at a church or some other place, but a graveyard is cooler.

[The moon shone from behind his back and glinted off his scythe that hung limply in his hand.] A scythe?

[The Angel suddenly changed direction, folding his wings in around him and the girl as he dropped directly into the lake’s centre.] It's awesome that they didn't have to fly through the sky and into heaven like some other typical book would've had.

[You do realise she’ll never be able to go back and that you’ll have to keep an eye on her all the times, simply to prevent her from hurting herself, let alone getting eaten."] Wow, that's a mouthful. He would been merrciful had he killed her.

["Personally I would have eaten her," Luciar admitted nonchalantly.] I like Luciar already.

["That’s because you’re a Werewolf," Ivan reminded him.] And then that makes sense why he said that.

Well, great beginning to the story, it's very interesting. The characters definitely have different way about going about things. The only thing I have to say is that there were a few awkward sentences, but nothing too major. At the beginning you used 'he' a lot, and it could be minimzed a bit, but nothing else.

C.S.

Yay! New character! Please update soon! I can't wait to read the next chapter!

I like the first paragraph because I could see it all pretty well, but at the same time... You have "jet-black hair" "startling green eyes" "pure white rings." It almost seemed like too much description or maybe it was delivered in a way that seemed somewhat tedious. I don't know... The way it was presented was a little too repetitive.

"She sat in a pool of her own crimson blood was covered in it as well. " Missing an "and," I do believe.

Wooldand-Elves sound really cool. o.o I like the paragraph that you described Marcus. I could see it all really well. :)

I also like the different kind of...races...too. Quite a diverse cast of characters. :)

xo
Lain from RK

very interesting story.
i
like
it
:D

Yes! Enter Sophie! ^^ I like the rewrite of this chapter - the way you mentioned the things that will come into play at a later date will make the story tie together more. :D

Heh. I do love Max! He really cracks me up! And I can't wait for Sophie to make her debue!

Looking forward to the next chapter as always!

Wow, this is an awesome story. It's beautifully written. I don't have time to read the rest yet, but I definitely will when I get the chance.

AH! WOOT! I'm soo glad you updated! It's been a while, I even forgot I was waiting for the update until I got the E-mail telling me new chapter was up! Ah, I'm glad that they aren't going to wait for her to open up to them about her past because that would take SOO LONG. She would have to come to terms with it hrself, and adit the truth of it, and so them just looking into it themselves it a great idea ^-^ GREAT JB! I can't wait to read more! I'm not really sure what it is about this story but I'm absolutely IN LOVE WITH IT!
Ha, UPDATE SOON!~

OH NO! I've reached the last chapter! Grah, I just want to keep reading! Will you PLEASE update soon?
I may be sounding a bit weird, but your story rocks and I'm not gonna hold out on how much. It's like this much