it's simple and short yet very moving and nice. keep it up.

i like...very simple, yet gets the point across: that everyone must go sometime. admire the time you have with whoever before they leave.

it's really nice.
and by that, i mean, when i finished reading it, i didn't feel bad or angry about something. i just felt nice.
i guess because it's so real.
it's kind of overly simple, but that's just me. it still leaves a cool feeling.

it sounds as if all you it's having a good time.

One thing: without full punctuation some of the emphasis of this piece is lost.

For example, the line "joined by a thread" could either apply to the previous three lines or the next two. Just throwing in a handful of periods and commas (correctly of course) would help guide the reader through this piece.

Otherwise, this isn't bad. It's a little bare-bonesy in terms of story and some of the phrases feel a little trite (loved too much and we'll laugh/until we cry to name two) but I like the feeling at the core.

If you're looking to edit it, perhaps expand a touch and vivid up some of the descriptions.

Midnight

I think I know how this goes... but probably not.

-stix-

i really liked this - and i love how you have the people in this piece names, it adds a little personal touch the poem. nice job.

rowan.

Reminds me of my friends, 'cept that our friend's name is Damon.