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| miscellanea 2008-05-27 ch 9,   | You should have had him say 'whoa' and switched the dialogue, but besides that, nice conclusion. Tyler is a big jerk, yo. |
| misschloe 2008-05-21 ch 9, | awesome!! |
| miscellanea 2008-05-06 ch 8, | Wow those dudes are too cute. Like, wow, I would totally go out with them! |
| Drallimer 2008-04-30 ch 7, | tyler ** me off! aside from some random grammar errors (shame on you! you get a better english grade than i do) it's really good! the story's cute and the plotline's catchy but it's little fantasmical (as in not believable) cuz alex is driving and he shouldn't be able to drive until junior year! but really, it's god. and i think what you have planned for your ending is a good circle to it. see! people like your story, you just have to put yourself out there! |
| miscellanea 2008-04-29 ch 7, | surreptitious...hehe. Omigosh, that was so cute. Like I can't even describe how cute that was. |
| misschloe 2008-04-26 ch 7, | did you know that i am totally in love with this story?? i love it...ahaha...and the kid that i know named tyler is like my best friend now...=] |
| misschloe 2008-04-18 ch 6, | well that sucks for jessie...my tyler erickson...the one i know...isnt that mean...i feel so bad!! |
| mayorofbridgewater 2008-04-12 ch 1, | Funny and cute...Grandma Lucy sound cool. :O. It's a little unrealistic but so are the majority of romances on fp. What I found the most hard to believe, though, was that she'd be so reluctant to spending her summer relaxing on a cute little island instead of flipping burgers at the community center. That's just me, though... |
| miscellanea 2008-04-06 ch 4, | WAH! This is so cute. I mean disgusting. You are the master of cute mushy flirty scenes. >.< Anyways, the only constructive critisism i have to offer is the fact that i get lost in your dialogue; sometimes I have to backtrack to find out who is saying what. Just add in a couple 'I said's and 'he said's and you should be fine. |
| miscellanea 2008-04-06 ch 2, | It's so funny how Grandma was talking about how Tyler washed his plate... hahahaha. Also when that skater dude did a back flip thing in the coffeeshop. Kudos |
| miscellanea 2008-04-06 ch 1, | Aww cute! And it is totally realistic how her perspective of Balboa Island changed in a matter of minutes because of that guy... falling in love is so easy, haha. |
| misschloe 2008-03-28 ch 4, | ahaha...i had to make sure=] |
| Breeze x0 2008-03-28 ch 3, | This story is cute, but it seems like it's all dialogue. It's hard to get a feel of the characters, if you know what I mean. They all seem to kind of have the same personality. Good job though. :) |
| athensvalentino64 2008-03-28 ch 3, | Loving it! I love Tyler, he's such a dream. And your dialogue is improving, good job! |
| misschloe 2008-03-27 ch 2, | and oh my gosh...i know a tyler erickson...um...do i know you??=] |