Reviews for Love above Hatred

Fyxthamnzwik
2008-03-26
ch 1,

abuseubiquitous idea here, you'll hit close to home with many.

well said

Arcane D.
2008-03-26
ch 1,

abuseFirst, and foremost I must say that you're clearly underestimating yourself. It's definitely not a bad attempt at writing, and I've no idea how you could fathom to say such a thing. I know that you have experience prior to posting in fictionpress, so I can't really call you a newcomer to the world of poetry however there are about five to six criterias which I believe should be present within a poem noteworthy of a review. An alluring title, the depth of a piece, the syntax, the diction, the overall format and structure, as well as the overall flow. Now with that said, I think that the poetry really seemed to be sincere, and that the words seemed to have been produced in a spur of the moment. (Not that there's anything wrong with that because I believe that the best poetry comes from the split second) This is definitely not a bad first update, like you claimed it's not "taking out the trash" or anythig of the sort. The format itself seems pretty effective, and you use periods to emphasize when a thought is over and you move on to the next one. The title, however, I didn't find too alluring... I mean it just seems like your average angsty cliche about unrequited love and the works. I also found that sometimes the lines were too choppy and that certain lines in a way contradicted itself. I'm specifically talking about when you say "Hate my love." and "Love my hate." I mean which is it? Are you saying you hate to love your hate? I think that those lines in itself is most likely to muddle the reader's thought process. I'm also satisfied with the diction within the piece - no usage of overly complex diction which made it simple but effective. I feel that however, there is a lack of style within your poetry. It feels as if you haven't found a specific niche in your poetry, and I might as well have been reading a wall of text repeatedly with words that read "i love you." "i hate you." over and over again. What I always and consistently try to do as a poet is that when I write, I try to make sure my writing can't be described in a sentence. It's not easy, but I believe that's where true depth lies in a poem. If your poetry can be explained in a simple sentence, then it didn't really move the reader which is why I always find a touchy subject like romance so hard to write about. Because it has to be sincere, but moving - it has to have the reader completely absorbed in each and every word, but also make sure that it's written in your fashion. There is always room for improvement, and I hope that with writing you will be able to find yourself - speaking in terms of both a distinct style, and yourself as a person. (because that's the impression i got when reading the piece) See you on your next update.

arcane

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