Hello!
Nice idea. You had a few typos, so you might want to look over the story again. Also you need something to break up your story in order for readers to know that you're moving forward in time, otherwise it comes off as confusing. Another thing was that the story seemed a bit rushed, like you were missing bits and pieces of important information. I don't know, maybe it's just me. You have a good plot on you hands though, it just needed to be a bit more developed.

OMG my computer kept crashing when I am about to submit my review. It happens twice already. I need to retype my super long review all over again. DARN COMPUTER!

Oh well this one will be a lot shorter because I need to sleep and retyping the same thing three times get irritation. THis time it better works!

Ok Mike is being mean. Poor dude got killed.
I wonder how it feels to be bullied. it must be horrible. Since I am a very kind person in nature. Cant be help. I cant even refuse a person's request. Which makes me think... why am I not bullied? I guess if you are nice to others, they feel guilty to do harm on you. >_<

OK nice story by the way! Good luck with the rest! Sorry, my schedule is very tight these days.

aw that's sad . . . there were a couple of spelling errors where you have spelt a word, but it isn't the right word (happens to me all the time) . . . oh and you seem to dislike the name Mike .. . . . .

Good, short story. I feel sorry for her. Nice work.

Good luck with writing, this story, and life. Have a lovely day and a wonderful summer.

~Twilight Starr~

I wish it would be longer, but the story was great. The only problem I can see is that the word "Loosing" should be "Losing". Keep writing!

Facnating... I liked it a lot some what unclear but good