Review Game for the whole poem/series of poems.

I liked this a lot more than I thought I would when I first saw the style. You pulled it off very well, and included a lot of humor that was very endearing. I particularly liked the "I see sweat at the nape of his neck
beading at his temples
and resist the urge to wipe
(lick)
it off." bit, namely becuase that's one of those things that people never say out loud but sometimes unavoidably think.

Your poem was very real, and I quite enjoyed it. There were a few instances where I felt like a word was missing, or something was missing, but it didn't really detract from the poem itself. It just kind of... worked with the poem and made me think.

Overall, wonderful! Very real.

~AA

I'm confused who is "he"? emanuel??
whoever "he" is you've fallen hard 4 him. :)

Bad day? reading the next one :)

pausing before I read the next one. (P.S. be proud of your accent I've always loved texan drawls. and I have long dark hair too. I'm also too afraid to do anything dramatic with it)gonna read the next one :)

I like your poem alot, The style of writing is cool, I've never seen it before, and don't worry I'm comma happy too, keep on writing, :)

Oh, pretty! I really love the way this one reads!

Love,
~Dia

Lovely! I really like how some lines are just lists, it's like a half-thought. Usually that doesn't sound great, but you really pulled it off.

Love,
~Dia

Ooh, I love the feeling of this one! I think you're very good at conveying a mood. It's obvious in this story that you're experimenting and testing yourself as a writer, and I think that's a lovely thing to see. It's reassuring that even a writer as talented as yourself is intent on improving and changing. I'm really loving this.

Love,
~Dia

Lovely! I love the second stanza, for some reason. I'm not entirely sure what this story is about, but it's really captivating, and interesting to read. I think the style is amazing, and unpredictable.

Love,
~Dia

Ooh, I think it's really cool how you did it this way... I don't know what it is, but it's really interesting how the style of the story turns! Nice.

Love,
~Dia

I like it. It's... I like it in an odd way. I don't even know how to explain it. It's really great writing.

Love,
~Dia

comma-happy, you say? well, i agree with every single one this time around, so it doesn't matter to me.
i LOVE it. Lovelovelove. DiaRose says it doesn't sound like your usual work as much, and I think I agree, but I like this very muchly. Marci sounds honest- no denial. I feel like I can relate to her and I feel like I can FEEL the atmosphere of the coffee place and it all makes me feel like I'm high on this story. I don't have much experience with this style, but as far as I can tell, you do it incredibly well. It reads natural.
My only problem was that I didn't realize in the first page that each person started after the semicolon; I thought it was a new person with each stanza. But I understand now, after going back, so I suppose it was my fault to begin with.
Anyways, keep going! Can't wait to read more (seriously)! You. are. brilliant.

I quite like this. It's very final, and simply lovely. Wonderful.

Love,
~Dia

I think you should keep it up, there's a really good atmosphere to it.

Love,
~Dia

Well, I have a strange opinion of this one. Most of your poems, if I hadn't known who had written them, I would probably have a good guess that it was you. This one had the feel of your work just the same, but it was a bit different. The wording was unlike you, I think is what I'm trying to say, it's taken at face value. I like it, though it has less of a mystical and deep feel than most of your work. I think the air of sophistication is fitting, and done very well!

Love
~Dia

PS: I thought you disappeared!