Lowden, eh?
He has no idea what he's in for, does he?

I like it. Sentence is still a little bit iffy, but it's getting better.

You have some really good ideas.

However.

If I were you, I would go through it once I've written it and check your punctuation. I'm guilty of poor punctuation myself, but it is quite bothersome.

Quite interesing. I'm seeing a dash of Twilight and a pinch of Blood and Chocolate mixed in with w/e makes you you.

Watch your punctuation.

Other than that, good first chapter.