FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| aspenjerome 2008-03-28 ch 1,  | abuseThis is good, kiddo. You do a good job of hooking our interest, then explaining the connection between the girl and the boy, and displaying their obvious affection for one another. It's hard when friends can't be friends anymore, and to link that in with the secondary story of the grandpa and the spiritual element of the storm - hey, nice work. I'd clean it up a bit (it's lightning, not lightening) but, overall, you're doing something different from the usual school stories around here. Good job. |