VERY good. If you are interested in having it printed into paperback or hardback books let me know. )

The first and second parts of this sentence don't seem to have anything to do with each other...
"Even when Danny glowered at no one in particular, the nurse wheeled him back upstairs and got him situated in one of the rooms down the hall from Molly."

"...to be there when he woke..."
Definitely should be "to be there when she woke"

This sentence doesn't make much sense to me...
""What I get my hands on that little man-""

"Danny signed the necessary documents and was about to leave when Mollycalled him back." You need a space "when Molly called him back."

While I don't think anything is actually wrong with this sentence, it does sound a bit awkward in my opinion:
""I would rather I not come back here,"..."
""The what now?" Danny asked, looking up from the scalpel the he was examining"
Should be "that he was examining"

About halfway through:
""...although the doctors are fairly certain that I was ingested." "That would be such a horrible way to die, wouldn't it?""
Though I do find this hilarious, I don't think it's what you were intending to say...
There was one other little typo I noticed in this chapter as I read it, but I don't remember what it was.

"He green eyes were wide and glistening..."
I think this should be "Her green eyes..."?
Also, a couple sentences later you wrote "What's going on, Bridge?" I'm not sure if Danny calls her that as a nickname or not, but if it is a nickname, chapter 14 seems a bit late to introduce it.

"I guess this will have to wait for another day, he though, dumping the piles unceremoniously into open drawers in the file cabinets."
I'm guessing it should be "he thought"?

Couple more typos in this section. Towards the end, just after the break: "wining his way slowly back to his apartment." Should probably be "winding his way..."
Also, about 2/3 of the way through, "You can sit in the cark park all night for all I care." I'm guessing that should be "car park"?

So far, loved the entire thing. Quick typo correction though. Towards the end of the chapter, you say "She gave him a shove, and he stumble ruefully..." It should be "stumbled ruefully"

"Danny shifted his weight. A THOUGHT had suddenly occurred to him."
not a though
other than that, this chapter's great too!

Awesome! I didn't notice any errors / wouldn't change anything! Great story so far, it's something I could see us reading in Crime in Literature, haha.

Did you really have to take the Lords name in vain? Also, you could have used another word than F*. That is not a commonly used word in most of society. Your story is really great though. It is coming along very nicely.

Like I have already said, your first chapter was amazing. That made me proceed to chapter two and you have not ceased to amaze. That just a wonderful twist on the story. I cant wait to see where this book goes!

WOW, that was amazing! You write with such detail. As I read I could just picture every word in my head and it was all so vivid. I wish I had your writing ability.