FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Yarni Whitykis 2008-04-25 ch 1, anon. | abusehahaha, poor little guy. Want an ice cream? |
| Tytherpol 2008-03-28 ch 1,  | abusei should have said something about this earlier, when i first read it. but i didn't for some reason. actually, i'm hardly reviewing anything of anyone's recently for some reason. idk why. whatever not the point. anyway, i really like this. it's actually what inspired me to write 17 x 5. literally. i wrote it like five minutes after reading this the first time. well, Amber's name is perfect for this (though it may be true? i often hate autobiographical things of almost any nature. well, it doesn't matter if it's the real name or not because it fits the piece perfectly). and i'm glad you included the name. it makes it even more real. because that's what this is--real. very real and almost cute in the pretend-sense. i love how all of the emotion and excitement and meaning of the day and being run over by the sled was captured in that one little first sentence. god that's awesome. i mean, everything about this was written just as a fourth grader is taught: you start with a transition, include a nice simile or two, lots of simple adjectives, throw in a lil onomatopoeia. just perfectly ironic/satirical, i think. anyway, killer write. lots of love, -ty. |