Your story was entaining but due to some confusion in chapter seven about why she was marrying Kioda made it less enjoyable than it should have been. You should also be carefull with 'too' you never added the second 'o' when you used it which added to the confusion

Amy

Okay i really like this story. I cant wait to read the sequel. Your an amazing writer. :)

You got that name from Fruits Basket, didn't you?

Uhm... since when does she love Kioda? Where did that come from. Literally from one paragraph to the next she goes from being ecstatic to marry Darren to loving Kioda. You don't even explain her thought process on wanting to save Darren. You just say thats why she is doing it and that she loves Kioda all of a sudden. You don't ever explain anything.

Im sorry. I don't mean to sound harsh. You have a very nice, original idea for a Vampire story... but you should go over your story and heavily edit it... add more of the thought process, more interaction. Just because YOU know what is going on doesn't mean the reader does.

I hope you dont take this as a flame, I am just trying to give constructive criticsm... I hope it helps and doesn't hurt. :)

Well, the idea is still unique, which is good... but I have to say I was a little dissapointed with Darren randomly being like "I love you". There was no build up, no tension, no scenes of them together really. It didn't seem natural. But thats just my opinion.

I used to love Vampire stories... until Twilight came out. Then they were all EXACTLY the same. I began to despise vampire stories with a passion for how cliche and obnoxious they became.

BUT, for some reason I thought I should click on your story. And so far, I'm glad I did. There is a different sense to it, a uniqueness which is refreshing in the usual world of Vampire stories.

I am eager to read more and see if it continues to be as good as the begining is. :D

great chapter and cant wait till the next one and kewlies kioda got set free from the evil

great chapters and swet she had the baby and he looks like her and darren and darrens back and their having another wedding :) cant wait till the next chapter

wonderful, i love it.

Wait didnt she love Darren? But now loves the other dude??

kewlies she is prego and dude i bet its darren watching her

I like this story! You do write a little rushed though. And I don't like Kioda! I like Darren best! But you're the writer and that means you make the desicions (but please please, pretty please make Mariya love Darren again! Let her love be some kind of spell or something!)
Grtz Silencia
ps: Please check out my storıes too (especially Angel&Devil!!)

plz plz plz plz plz update extra soon. cant wait 4 more!

awesoem chapter and dude is was kioda no way didnt see that coming and plz update again soon :D

OMG! why does the bad guy always prevail? Lol. cant wait for the next ch.!