Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: For Onis
Perfectly Paradox 2008-04-30 . chapter 1
Wow. You have such vivid images in here. I love how you trigger the reader's senses with your words. I also like how you don't ever capitalize the questions in the dialogue; it gives it such a personal and informal tone. You wouldn't capitalize your words if you were talking. Loved the bit of the cigarette smoke's lingering. Interesting connotations. Loved the images of "...week old dishes, last months papers, and a dying ceiling fan." You give it such chronology.
Return to Top