wow, I really like this story! I'm really into it now after reading through all the chapters. I can't wait to see what happens next, but I have one slight critique, I think you tend to repeat yourself a lot about Seth's...depression? I do realize it's a big part of the story but I think it might be a bit better if you didn't mention it quite as much as you do.

you are really good at writing though and I can't wait to read more! Please update soon!! :)

a mystery genre. i haven't read a piece of this genre before. i found the first chap interesting.
a fellow artist, "Mercyette", recommended your story.
though it felt a bit dragging at the start, i later on got hooked up.
apart from the minute mistakes, i liked the story.
and, i particularly like Seth's character. i just can't put a good word for it.
great job!
i'll be reading the other chapters too, you can count on that but it won't be immediately.

:)

Wow, it's been so long since I checked in on this story! I'm still surprised that it hasn't recieve more reviews than it has - it's a great story. It's been a while since I've read (and I'll need to freshen up a bit on the plot and stuff before I move on to other chapters) but it's still great. I'm so glad that poor little Brody was finally found! :)

Again, I have to say you did a marvelous job on capturing the character's demeanor. I liked that we got to see a little more into Justin's character and I loved the fact that Seth wanted to move in while the others were still preparing for the raid. That's so like him!

The only thing I saw that was a little strange was the fact that the police let Brooke and her family onto the scene. Personally, I think that would be very dangerous, especially if firearms were involved. Again, just my opinion. I'm interested in what will happen next! Post soon!

I love your diction in this chapter in particular. It's so nice to read a story that doesn't have drab descriptions and words to match. Great job on that aspect!

I'm beginning to get a little impatient with Brooke. Sure, she went through a lot with the rape (right?) but, surely, a worried mother would say /something/ if it meant help saving the life of her child, not just deny the fact she knew the guy! Hech, I'd go after him myself if he had my son! Sorry, my mothering instincts taking over a bit. >.< Great job! Moving on the the next (and last) chapter!

That officier from the narcotic's department was a jerk! *fumes* Well, at least I can /sort of/ see where he's coming from. Anyway, I loved how you started the chapter off. It was a refreshing change of scenery, just when I needed it. Great timing on that part!

The only thing I'm a little concerned about is with Seth. I'm wondering. Does he always get so emotion with cases? Typically, a good detective known better than to get attatched so easily to an assignment. And if he doesn't get attatched often, you might want to put in a stronger reason as to why he's so attatched to the case. Just an observation. I'm reading on!

Well, it looks like a got a couple of my chapters mixed up. You'll have to forgive me, seeing as I read a couple of the chapters at the same time. But hey, a review's a review, right? Anyway, onto the review!

I like how you keep describing Brooke's helplessness. I also find it nice that she keeps depending on her faith in God to help console her (as well as her parents). Good job!

The only thing I might mention would be a technicality. Usually, DNA tests take weeks to get results, don't they. Hopefully, my four semesters in criminal justice wouldn't have been in vain. You might want to have another way to identify the body, other than DNA testing, like maybe teeth records? I dunno. Just a thought. Anyway, ready on!

Oh man, I hope that the body wasn't Brody's! I'll be horribly let down if it is. :( You're descriptions about the body were very clear and I especially like the comment on how he could see a burned toddler and not be sick. It seemed to exemplify how he is a seasoned detective.

My only squabble would be that this chapter in particular seemed to drag on. You had an interesting scene, but I thought the scene in the car seemed a little too long-winded, but that's just my personaly opinion.

I'll have to read on!

I like how you managed to capture Seth's character so well, especially while he was waiting for the phone to ring with leads. You really managed to show his frustration. Kudos to you!

Since I can't find a negative for this chapter, I'll leave you with more positive feedback. I think you're also managing to capture Colton's personality as well. I can vividly tell when he becomes a little concerned about Seth. You're great at character developement! Going to the next chapter!

I think you did an excellent job of capturing the parent's distinct personality, especially Peter. He seems like he would have trouble showing his emotions. I also like the press conference idea, too. I've attempted towrite a mystery before (emphasis on attempted) and I never could think of things like that to throw in there. Great job!

You had a couple of spelling errors here and there, but again nothing to big. Here's one for example:

Did Farrell call Brooke, er the mother about the press? - I think you meant "or"

Typos are a writer's nightmare, I know, but keep it up! Moving on!

I liked how you had the police hounds come to search for Brody. I thought that was a nice little touch. I'm also intrigued as to where the father is. There certainly was an awkwardness when Brooke mentioned it. I'll have to keep reading. :)

I sort of wich the story would move a little faster. Already, you've managed to put one day's time into three chapters. That's just a suggestion, though. I think it's just because I want to find out what happened to Brody! >.

Aww, poor Brooke! I would hate to have to go though what she is now! I liked that we got to see a little more into Seth's character. Who would've known he had a soft side? Again, you did a great job on the descriptions. Keep up the good work!

There was a little detail that I noticed. Earlier in the chapter, you said that Brody was four years old and then later said he was three. Just a little thing I thought I'd bring to your attention. Just keep proof-reading. @_@ I know, I hate it, too.

Going to the next chapter!

For the Review Game's Review Marathon (link in my lookup)!

I really liked this piece. it's quite different from what I've been reading lately. I've also been playing my Nancy Drew computer games now that school is out and I could really use a good mystery. You details are wonderfully written, especially how you went about describing Seth. So great job on that!

The only thing I might suggest is to add a little more character to Seth since you just introduced him. The only real description we got was that he was depressed. Again, it's just the first chapter, so I know we'll learn more about him.

Overall, great job! I'll have to read on!

Augh, I missed a chapter! (I didn't abandon you, I swear!!)
I definitely love this story (which is odd, because it isn't really the type I would normally read). You make the subject interesting, and you make the subject even more real. The pace of the past couple of chapters has been really nice, and I think you've been doing a really great job with descriptions and characterizations. Please, please keep writing! :)

This chapter was so depressing! Gah! (The content, not the way it was written, in case anyone needs clarification.)
I think this chapter was my favourite thus far. There's quite a bit of action, and I felt like you paced it really, really well. Nothing seemed really rushed or anything.
But I am going to scream soon if we don't find out more about Seth. :D