More reviewing coming at'cha.

1) "Hearing the blue jay through the open window, Leona begun to stir, opening her eyes, Leona, lying on her left side, watched the blue bird in silence, for a little while the only sounds were coming from the bird." Some of those commas need to be periods. I'd also consider revising the second half of the sentence to "lying on her left side, eyes open, she watched the bluebird in silence. For a while the only sounds in the room came from it."

2) Solid description of Kylie.

3) "but unknown to Leona; this was the beginning of a chain of events that would change her life forever." This is one of those things that it's better to insinuate than to actually tell. Fantasy is so full of destinies and life changing events that the appearance of one isn't going to come as much of a shock to the reader, but if you're lucky and don't tip them off to the fact, they'll be too engrossed in your story to think it's bland when one of those does pop up.

4) Varlio actually makes a pretty interesting character.

5) You've gotten a lot better with your writing since the start of this story. Just thought you should know.

-SC

1) "when the door bursts open to none other than Oris Kline." Should be past tense

2) You figured out the humor between Ronan and Oris. Their dialogue is genuinely funny.

3) Solid chapter. Your writing is getting better. I wouldn't mind reading another one soon.

1) I like the description of the palace doors. It adds some character to the building.

2)"“The Annual Royal Ball” was a ball that was held every year," I think that one's actually self-explanatory. You could probably trim out that sentence.

3)"she was confidant that today, would be her last training session, like always after this, she would then learn from Mr McKay, who was watching from the seats, to her far right." no comma after 'today'. period after 'session'. Maybe build another sentence to accommodate the rest.

4)"She hated pink, especially when it was bright, she didn’t mind it as much when it was dark, but still hated it." That sentence made me laugh. It really does capture her character.

5)"She gripped her sword like she had been tort" taught

6) For all the doubt you expressed in the author's note about action sequences, you're surprisingly good at writing them. This one is paced exactly the way a sword fight should be. It speeds up every time someone strikes, switching to shorter sentences, and then slows down again once the combatants resume circling. I approve.

7)"Mr McKay strides over" tense change. strode.

8)"Leona sidestepped, the sword cutting her dress," that's a little surprising, that a practice sword would be that sharp, but it adds another element of excitement to this scene.

9)"Her ears seemed to have tuned into her surroundings." that was a great line.

10)"She had considered for a moment to use the sharp edge of the sword" and that's an unexpected bit of darkness in the main character. Good development.

11)"Leona sat down on the nearest seat to catch her breath, only to pass out." Okay, lots of authors are guilty of this: using unconsciousness as a way of ending scenes. Easiest way to interrupt a scene is to have the main character faint. It's a realistic way of pausing narration until they come to again. Unfortunately, it's very easy to overuse, and it doesn't do much for the story other than set a precedent for having certain characters faint a lot. I think it would be a lot better to end this chapter with Leona reflecting on some part of the duel, or checking to see if Michael's alright. You could maybe even end the chapter the moment Leona's sword touches Michael.

12)"I'm not sure what to do for chapter 3 though, I was thinking of playing off a little humour about Oris proving that his gay since he has a conversation with Ronan, (that's the king, Leona's father, mind you his straight) before a messenger comes to tell him that his daughters in the infurmary. But I'm not sure how to go about it."
I don't feel like I know the characters quite well enough to be sure how to do that scene. It depends a lot on how you want them to interact. I could see Ronan being seriously uncomfortable whenever Oris is around. He might try to stand farther away from Oris, or suspect even the most innocent phrases of some hidden innuendo.
On the other hand, Ronan and Oris could have a brotherly sort of relationship. Maybe Ronan asks Oris how things are going, if he's met any nice guys, etc. which embarrasses Oris.
I'm not sure how else to play the situation for humor, but I could probably come up with a few more options if I knew the characters better.
In any case, keep writing and let me know when you want another chapter reviewed.

-SC

Okay. Let me start by saying that I picked up this story not so much for the title or description as I did for the combination of genres that it offered. When I started writing, it was with fantasy/horror/comedy, so I've got an appreciation for those genres above most others. That said, I'll do my best to write up a helpful review. Here goes,

1)"Now I am not very good with genre's and ratings, if you think it's in the wrong catergory, please let me know," I default all of my stories to Teen. Rating stories K+ kinda invites people to quibble. Everyone's got a different idea of what constitutes a good story for children, but most people agree on what's okay for teenagers. Generally. Sometimes. Maybe. (also: category)

2)"The Kat A Nine Tales - Minx Leona Lionheart" Just to be a little nitpicky, I've got an irrational like for the name 'minx lionheart', but I think the 'leona' bit is a little overkill.

3) I like the first line. It was written in a way that I couldn't help but imagine the movie-announcer-guy reading it. "In a time of chaos...one man will stand tall...Bruce Willis is...Leona Lionheart." Or some such.

4)"and escape from her retched chains" wretched. 'retch' is to throw up.

5)"‘What would happen if you were dancing with a handsome gentleman?’ Oris asked," Presumably, handsome gentlemen can tough it out. I like that Minx isn't really frilly or flighty. She's got her head in the clouds about adventure, but not dresses and boys.

6)"She left the smaller ballroom, which was called “The Happy Fairy.”" A reference to Oris?

7)"Everything, but dancing." The trick is, dancing is like fighting. Only the goal is not to kill your opponent. Er, partner.

8)"As usual her dark blue hair, which was its natural colour," You know, hair dye did exist back in the day. The herb henna has been used for centuries to redden peoples' hair. But anime-blue hair is alright, too. Good costuming/visuals help even minor characters to stand out.

9)"It was good that they lived in a high tech world." that took me by surprise, a little bit. It's very retro-tech. The society's advanced, but it hangs onto a lot of old ways of doing things. I actually like that a lot.

10) "because she couldn’t dance!

He slammed his fist down on the table," ficpress can be a bit arbitrary about what it allows as scene dividers and what it doesn't. I recommend a single hyphen in the middle of the page. Other punctuation may not show up, depending on what kind of word processing program you're using.

11) Your villain, who is as of yet unnamed, feels a touch over-dramatic. Maybe that's a characteristic of him. You could probably play off of it a little for humor. However, I hope there's something more sinister behind him, propping him up. As just a man, albeit a megalomaniac, he's not too intimidating.

12) "The humour in the first line was intended." and it was one of the highlights of the story. Definitely work in more humor, if you can. Don't force it, of course. Humor has a mind of its own and won't be coerced. But let it in if the story seems to call for it.

13)"I'm the type of person who needs encouragement!" Well, consider this encouragement. There's potential here, and you should keep writing. Don't worry too much about reviews and what-not. You'll find that long stories on this site tend to generate their own devoted fanbases, and those are a good source of feedback. So, if you really need more reviews, posting a couple more chapters will get you them.

As far as my own reviewing goes, I generally don't return to stories without some prompting, but if there's another chapter that you want me to review, feel free to send me a message. No, it's not an imposition.

Good luck, and keep writing.

-SC