Your story has so many, SO MANY important plot holes.

For example, why is Riley suddenly so close to the group? Why is she the one making some decisions, like accepting the invitation to the dinner? She's a stranger and doesn't really know the group dynamic yet.

Riley should let the older members of the group do most of the talking, because she herself knows only the veneer of the group's history, TGU's history, and Hargrove's history. She's ignorant of which people are truly allies or enemies. If this was a real story, I'm sure that the group wouldn't even allow her to speak right now. She's only been with them for a few days, a few weeks at the most.

I used to kind of like this story, but now I'm very disappointed. I've been really a childish story after all.

However, don't take this too harshly. I know you are only an aspiring author of fiction, so there's a lot of time to improve. Keep trying!

=] I figured out the code before I continued reading. You made it too obvious. You know why?

It's cause "infjdormjdatjkion" looked too much like information. Also, I was like, since there are so many "jd"'s, then it must be some useless letters.

You should've done pig latin or something instead.

WOW. I did NOT see that coming.

I keep thinking that Leon's a good guy. You said that he was a perfect sharpshooter, but if he was that good, how can he miss the vital organs of Dekker?

I think Leon shot Dekker so that the other gang members would leave Dekker alone, thinking that they killed him, but Leon managed to help him escape.

I had to find a chapter I didnt review on ._.

Is there any chance of an update?... At all? Or at least a notice that you are dropping this story? I know that your really busy, but please just say something about this lol.

UPDATE!

Great chapter!! :D I didn't really see any mistakes, but I was reading fast so I must have missed them. Sorry =/

Update soon though!!

Yeah, there were just a couple spots where you might've meant "one" and you put "on". But as far as I could tell, those were really the only mistakes.

/: You tell me a big plot change is coming and then you say that you don't know when you're updating next. *pssh* But good luck writing chapter twenty! :D

Although the one thing I didn't love was when Riley had a break-down. Only because by now, you would think she would be a little more used to it, particularly after watching a whole circus die. And I'm so sad Arnold died. I expected it, but I was kind of hoping when it was all over, that they could go back to Arnold. And be happy or something. :sigh:

Besides that, your scenes were described really, really well. xD Everything was vivid and easy to imagine. And I had a lot of fun reading. Very good chapter!

I really hoped Arnold wouldn't be dead :(
I like the 3 new characters, seems like they'll add to Clutch's and the gangs backgrounds more
I'm glad that there's going to be more Seph and Dekker soon, and hopefully maybe some more Clutch and Riley interaction? Please?
Looking forward to the next chapter :D

keep it up. damn good story.

i like salma and zayne. they're funny, kind of remind me of clutch at times. :) and they have cool names. :) anyways, your story is really entertaining, especially b/c i'm still trying to figure everything out. how TGU got started, how Hargrove came into it, all that kind of stuff. and wait, another new branch next chap? well, good that there will be more seph time. i like him. and dekker? he gets annoying, but in general, i suppose i don't mind him A LOT. :) update whenever you can, you do have a right to have a life. :) laterz loves!~ hyacinth

good :)

I feel so terribly for Clutch. I think that despite everything, he strives for some semblance of normalcy, and it's continually taken away from him, over and over.

And that last scene was SO intense. I realize that Riley's a newbie, but if the rest of her team is getting weird then she should become a little more aware.

But she pulled the same thing as me when I got hit by a motorcycle. XD Turning around to ask what's up, why're you screaming at me, and then BAM!

Hahahaha.

Looking forward to the next one!

-Mi.Ishi

Good chapter! I am sorry I took so long to review. So, Arnold is dead and the house was blown up? I feel like nothing really happened in the chapter, for the most part they were traveling. I am still confused about the political world. I don't know why TGU and Hargrove want to kill them. I can't wait until it is explained!

Poor Arnold! He's dead, isn't he?

And I really like how you're portraying Seph in this. I like how his relationship with the others is different; it's fun to read all the variety you've written in them. ;)

And of course, Riley and Clutch are just so cute. And your pace is great; they didn't fall in love within two days or something crazy like so many other stories on FP.

Great chapter! I don't think I saw any mistakes, really, and I liked where you stopped. Good luck with the next chapter! :D