FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Tranquil Thorns 2008-03-29 ch 1,  | abuseIt confused me a little the way you keep switching from 'you' and 'your' to 'our' and 'we'. In most cases I managed to get around this, but in one line I think it sticks out a little. 'But it’s in these steps what we will learn Is your rhythm'. 'Our' rhythm, maybe? Nice idea, though. (: |