|Reviews for You Promised|
| jade nova 11 8/23/08 . chapter 1
typing this is hard. im mostly german and just thinking that i could have had family doing that hurts, but dam woman you write a kick ass story
| Nnaliseaai 3/31/08 . chapter 1
You already know what I think of this story. It's good and I think when you performed it you put really great emotion into it which you're awesome at doing. Keep it up!
| Tranquil Thorns 3/29/08 . chapter 1
'The strange thing is we didn’t start as friends we started as strangers to one another.' - I would separate the two parts. Ex.: 'The strange thing is we didn’t start as friends; we started as strangers to one another.'
This is nicely told and an overall good narration, but I thought it lacked in detail in some parts. I don't think I know enough about the characters. Maybe you can give little details about each one. What was Jakob like, Rachel, Kaylee, Peter (especially because he becomes significant in the end)? I felt that they weren't 'real' enough for me and faded into the background a little.
You can even incorporate some memories.
'Months went by and soon it was May of 1945 when we heard news that the War was over.' - I felt this was vague, too. I'm not asking for loads of detail. Maybe you can provide us with one outstanding memory, one event that occurred and stayed in the character's mind.
A few suggestions to make your story even better. (: