First of all, I love a lot of your imagery (six dollar suicides, chemical love letters) for being so fresh and vivid. I also really enjoyed the overall message of this poem. It's a poignant piece and one of few I've really enjoyed on FP.

I'm just not sure about the structure. It feels very stop-start but I'm wondering if separating out the two line links into stanzas and maybe descending line length might give this more oomph? What I mean is:

smoking
six dollar suicides
on the dock of quiet words
in the river where anchors lay silent.

It might even out the rhythm and flow a little more. Keep the ending as is though, I love the abruptness it gives.

Oh and do you mean "liquor" instead of "liqueur"? The latter always makes me think of sweet fruity alcohols rather than vodka/gin/whiskey.

Finally, check out the Review Marathon, it's part of the Review Game - there's a link in my profile. Great way to give and receive reviews.

Midnight

The words you use to decribe the various actions are different in a way that makes me want to think deeper and get under the surface of the story, the surface of the writer. Home can mean so many different things and I like how this ended.

Wow! That was amazing. Needless to say, I liked it. :D Good job.

Finally
but i remember blue birds and coffee
and oranges
and you
but i'm a few months older than you'll ever be
and i dont even know who that is

I like how every other line is so long, a string of descriptions--it's like a sprint, and the one word lines are like the rest in between. Which is ironic, because that's where the verbs are. But, it works. This poem made me go back and listen to Icky Thump... I haven't listened to that since the summer. This song feels like the freedom of summer. I like how you ended this. But still, no punctuation at the end... that says a lot.

marie