You have moved me with a short amount of words. These few paragraphs describe what abuse is like to a point of perfection.

-Feria

Wow! That was the most intense poem I have ever had the privilege to read.

So true. An abused child feels exectly as you described, lost with no one to turn to, nobody caring. Beautifully written.
--Alex

This is a very good piece.
Very dramatic.
Your view (or this person's view) is very deep. It makes you feel like you're there, as if you get an outside look and an inside look. You can just imagine him/her running down the staircase.

Bravo!

I wouldn't say this is horror, but it's an amazing piece. The words are so poetic and really flow well. Great job.
Faith

konban wa

stares. Wow. Open-mouthed shock. This is beautiful, stunning. And to think I almost didn't read it because I'm so exhausted. I seriously would have missed out. Like I said, I'm so tired that nothing is passing through -- so this review isn't going to get more specific. Sorry. :P But -- adds to favs. Wow!

Ha det
-Shan-

wow thats deep i like it

this is beautiful



'cause that's what you taught me
i love that

Very powerful words. I'm reminded of Emily Dickenson's "A Loaded Gun" in that I see a young woman ready to explode. The image you've created is an innocent girl, fingering through a book in any local library, taking note of the mindless enjoyment people find in the monotony of life. She can't help but think why they can't notice the rage caused by an abusive father and a mother who left. She's grateful they can't see and is terrified that she may have to explain her embarrassing situation someday, as if it's her fault.

Now, I'm not sure if you chose to cut-n-paste, or if you intended for the structure of your piece to appear as is. If so, I'd consider this more of a poetic prose piece. If not, may I suggest short lines, omit any words that are essential or powerful, and add a final stanza that explains why this girl has come to consider death the only violable option.

Great start. Write on!

That was deep, it was really good.