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| ForeverxDreaming 2008-03-31 ch 3,  | abuseSad story!! I don't really like swearing... I guess you did warn in your summary though. I mean, I can understand a little swearing because thats how people talk but this was still just a bit much. Keep writing though! This is pretty powerful. One request: make longer chapters. :) -Dreamer |
| Evera19 2008-03-31 ch 1, | abuseOk i have 4 things. 1. How long is this story going to be? 2. Your words and writing style weren't bad at all, I think you could really go somewhere with a story like this, but you need to bring things into the equation at the right time. This leads into #3. I think if you are planning on a long story you could have waited to bring in the abuse later. and finally 4. You didn't really need all that much swearing I say this just because I'm not a big fan of swearing but also because this was a young woman and she probably wouldn't be running around saying that kinda stuff even if she was drunk but what do i know? It all depends on how you develop the character. Overall you show emotions really well and I think your writing career is off to a good start, just draw inspiration from everything around you. |