Reviews for Four Simple Steps

Reviews For: Four Simple Steps - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

- RomanticallyCliche - 2008-08-16 ch 1,	abusehaha. nice ending
:) 2008-08-10 ch 1, anon.	abuseThat was SO cute~! Your ending was definitely a twist. I mean, first she says no, but then it's April Fools! Very creative, yes, yes. I love your stories, so keep 'em coming!
Green Eyed Angel 2008-08-04 ch 1,	abuseThat was hilarious. I loved it! "I love...y...y...y...yelling." hahaha. That was priceless. I'd like to see a movie made out of this. I don't even know why.
gum is yum 2008-07-05 ch 1,	abuseSo cute. It made me smile. :)
d666lisa 2008-05-18 ch 1,	abuseVery cute, Chris is adorable :)
Bressa 2008-05-16 ch 1,	abuseSweet, definitely a good, fun, light-hearted premise, but I feel like you fell short of your goal here. It's very, very obvious that you, my dear, are not a man. You write your boy here like a woman. Sometimes, your word choice a little bit sketchy - let me go hunt through for a specific example so I can tell you what I'm talking about: "Once I finally gained the guts to do it; I straight out asked her if she would go on a DATE with me. She smiled, and nodded. I cannot tell you how relieved I was. We went out on one DATE, and I can safely say it was the best DATE of my life. Never before had I been so comfortable on a DATE." For illustrative purposes, I've highlighted your repetitive word selection here so that you can see just how many times you use the word "date." This kind of habit is something that can block the reader from getting what you want them to get out of your work - and that's something you definitely don't want! My advice would be to try to hear the words in your head as you're writing - use your inner ear as a guide to keep you writing the best possible work. If you have to, leave your piece alone for a couple of days (maybe even as long as a week) and then come back to it and read it aloud. See how it sounds then. Fix what sounds wrong. This really was a good piece, and it's because it was a good piece that the flaws stood out so clearly for me. If you polish this up and go over it again, you can help this premise reach its full potential. Good luck, and keep writing!
gulistanlik 2008-05-10 ch 1,	abuseOh an april fools one-shot eh? Me likes it. It felt brief but lovely all the same. Thanks! gulistanlik
Sapheneia 2008-04-24 ch 1,	abuseFunny!
Amorelle 2008-04-22 ch 1,	abuseoh so cute! squeals happily
Lily Llynn 2008-04-20 ch 1,	abuseHaha funny and cute. I seriously thought she was saying that she didn't love him at the end. Real good April Fools. XD But yes, very entertaining with his voice and very very cute and cliche of course. (: A spiffy addition to our c2 from artistic dreamer. (:
kioreo 2008-04-18 ch 1,	abusei liked it! It's really good! Though the girl being afraid of lightning is pretty cliche I loved the way how you wrote though! Especially when it's the guy's POV. Don't see that often Great job!
Anastasia Gale 2008-04-10 ch 1,	abuse[squeel] OMG that is such a sweet story! Especially the ending! OMG OMG OMG! LOL. First time on fictionpress. Thank lord I found a great story to read. Tehehe. Write more =D!
Perfidious 2008-04-07 ch 1, anon.	abuseConstructive criticism: Don't make your stories so predictable. You dialogue is cliche'd. There is an underlying sexist tone to all your writing, watch out for that.
xoxluurveR 2008-04-05 ch 1,	abuseThat wasn't a very nice joke! I would ignore her for that. Cute story!
NOOLEEEAAVVEE 2008-04-04 ch 1, anon.	abuseBEAUTIFUL!! :):):):):):):):):):)

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