 Let It Rain 2008-04-16 . chapter 1Love the last two lines! Great job. |
 no.peace.los.angeles 2008-04-04 . chapter 1I think this is a lovely piece, with some strong imagery. I do think there are some things you could tweak a bit, though. Like "cherry-red lips." That's a pretty cliche description. I think the end is fantastic. And I was very flattered to hear that you've been reading my work. That is always nice to hear. And I like to review people back. Keep writing! :) |
 sharks don't sleep 2008-04-04 . chapter 1A last line that shames all last lines before it. :D
Favorites, because this is totally not weak sauce.
(Sorry, I have always wanted to say that in a review. XP)
Falcon |
 Amethyst Leirda PhotoMaster 2008-04-04 . chapter 1O...simply amazing!
It's an escape from everything, a very detailed description of a dream or day dream of being with the one you love.
I love the line, "I have often wondered why they don't have a sobriety test for love." With your permission I'd love to quote that (and give you credit of course) and put it in my profile page of this site. :D |
 Sexy Vampirechick 2008-04-03 . chapter 1This piece is simply BEAUTIFUL!
Your words flow smoothly like song.Let's just say I was indulged in its sweet imagery.
Very descriptive and nice.My favorite lines would be:
Let’s indulge on red licorice strings,connecting our cherry-red lips.
Let’s indulge on leather, fingerless driving gloves.
Let’s indulge on an inaccurate roadmap where north points down
and south motions to the stars.
Take me far from home to a land where u-turns are illegal
and speed limits are nonexistent.
This piece also made me want to take a drive and a fast one too..hehe. |
 a silenced revolution 2008-04-02 . chapter 1I like the somewhat fantastical and whistful feel to this. The idea of wanting to be somewhere else is compelling to begin with, but the details make it all the more real and lovely. It gives the feeling of wanting to leave and drive forever.
Favourite words:
"where north points down
and south motions to the stars."
Very nice work. |