This is brilliant - so haunting, and beautifully written. If I were you, I would try to get it published, in a magazine or something.

Oh, how terribly cryptic.
I love it.
=]

chek it,
JRG

Welcome back, you've been missed. Naturally you have to come back on a somber note, huh? It's an interesting psychological situation you described here. I don't feel much sympathy towards the narrator, to tell the truth...I don't think I'm meant to. Anyway, I hope this isn't going to be another 3 month wait for the next story, although I can be patient. I wouldn't want you to overwork yourself, now would I?

wow, good job. very strong, solid piece. Keep it up :)
Faith

this was slightly confusing but I loved it all the same.

sorta something poetic about it too. and full of imagery.

creative indeed.

I really liked this, it was so touching and very well written. The last line had a great impact on the whole thing.

That's one of the most amazing things I've ever read. I'm sad that it's only a one-shot, because you could do a lot with it. Great job.