FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| kloun mannequin 2008-06-28 ch 1,  | abuseI like the way you put the words together. |
| WritesWithPoisonInkAndBlood 2008-06-21 ch 1, | abuseYour poems have very good structures. Quite an original way of writing but it works very well. |
| stained blue 2008-06-14 ch 1, | abuseit's nice to break small rules that don't really matter, pretty. |
| Thenardier 2008-06-13 ch 1, | abuseSo much sadness in so little words. I love the choice of vocabulary. |
| Yuvjhnier 2008-06-05 ch 1, | abusewhat bothers me is that I can almost imagine what you were trying to say. oh my heavy heart! |
| Kusje 2008-04-22 ch 1, anon. | abuseI always adore your work, and I'm sure you already know that, haha. I think this one holds a strong essence -- it's short but holds a lot of movement and intensity. Great job. What does '032508' turn into? Is it reflective of Roman Numerals (as they can have meanings)? Interesting. |
| Basara 2008-04-05 ch 1, | abusethe word of 'too late' comes into place in this work of yours... condolence... nice... |
| simpleplan13 2008-04-04 ch 1, | abuseThe first line to me anyway was 6 syllables... I love the last line... it's unique and really beautiful personification. The rain of melancholy though... I dunno the whole rain and sadness thing is a bit overused, plus melancholy is kinda an overused word too... kinda like you picked it for the syllables. Anyhow I really like it... the first line being separate like that was really great and as I said I loved the last line |
| Xu.xDripdrop 2008-04-03 ch 1, | abuseI love how you managed to get so much emotion and imagery into only two short lines. I've always loved Haikus, even know I do not know how to write them. |
| Shadows in the Fire 2008-04-03 ch 1, | abuseWow--I love how you sort of said everything with nothing, Chidori Nadare! This is only (*counts*) eleven words but they hold so much meaning and, surprisingly, imagery. I think it would have been interesting if you'd continued the poem but the shortness takes nothing away. -Shadow |
| a silenced revolution 2008-04-02 ch 1, | abuseI like the mysterious quality of the metaphors. nice. (although the first line does have six syllables.) |