Reviews for Sweet Existence - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Sweet Existence

Yugitehmasterofwriting 2008-07-05 ch 1,	abusePretty good start, I think. I always found it hard to write from a first person perspective and I find it amazing that witers like you can. keep writing. -Yugitehmasterofwriting
RaZoRxScReAm 2008-04-16 ch 1,	abuseHey Megan, hopefully you know me. >> This review may say chapter one, but it's for all the chapters. Any who. I seriously have to agree with Vernon. I hope this doesn't turn out to be another story like Twilight. Also. How can these vampires stand the sun? I mean, it's baffling to me why they can be out in the sun and not turn into flames. Also, you're so heavily mistaken by Williamsburg being do lowly populated. Williamsburg, Virginia is one of the most famous tourist places in that state. I should know, I've lived in Hampton which is right next to it and Hampton too was pretty crowded. Lots of spelling mistakes, you do might want to go and get a beta reader. For chapter two, it seems like the teacher that they first meet contradicts himself. He says its too early, but then to hurry up since class starts. It doesn't make sense. Some more spelling mistakes and blah blah blah. Chapter three. Half vampires? ...please, don't get into that as well. That's such a horrible, discrimiting credit to the vampire race. Lucas is already becoming a cliched character, likewise with Iry as well. A few more spelling/grammer mistakes. The description of why werewolves and vampires hate each other seem a bit dull and boring. Chapter four. A few more points that need correcting. But, that's about it. Hopefully this will become something spectacular.
Elena Kansi 2008-04-10 ch 3,	abuseOMG hahahha! It's Mrr. Hays! : D I fell out of my chair, [literally] laughing so much. I really like your plot and stuff, but you have a couple of misspellings and that kinda bugs me, maybe run it through the spell checker? Or have someone beta? There's like one factual error but oh well. It's a great storyy, can't wait for more. :]
Teldumor 2008-04-04 ch 2,	abuseOf course, "Guinevere" eventually cheated on Arthur for Lancelot, leading Arthur off to engage on in a war against Lancelot, leaving his kingdom to fall prey to Mordred. Arthur returns empty handed, fights Morderd at the Battle of Camden, they kill each other, and the dying Arthur is shipped to Avalon to one day return as the Once and Future King.
Teldumor 2008-04-04 ch 1,	abuselol, what's with the abababbaba thing? Anyway, I like the opening line. It's another vampire story, there are so many out there. Ask yourself, what's going to be different about this one? Make something...out there, breaking from traditional vampire stories. Show me this isn't just another Twilight story.
militarymiko13 2008-04-04 ch 1,	abuseYay i'm so glad u posted ur story on here! Vernon says he'll read it asap. Love it btw! Can't wait for the next chapter ^ ^

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