Hear hear

I agree with certain points of your essay but not all if I understood you correctly.

Yes, it is wrong to romanticize rape, beating, etc. Or just using it to get sympathy from other characters. And even people who cut themselves to get attention and then believe that they knew all about the topic.

but here's the thing. Yes, you haven't been raped. And I hope you never will be. but some people use writing to heal and move on from it. Writing out their feelings can help them in many ways. Such as drawing, sports, acting, singing, playing instruments can relieve stress and anger, writing does the same for some people.

Writing about it makes it more known, aware if written correctly. As a horror, not romanticizing.

If people would read just how it is for the person, their POV of rape than maybe less people will do it and more parents/ friends/family/etc. will emphasize that rape is wrong in all shapes or forms and it shouldn't be done.

If people are more aware of rape, maybe they will take more precautions and not be as naive on the subject. Because sure, there are victims that are raped in alley ways by compete strangers but most are raped by people they know and trust.

Maybe if more people knew the extent and no sugar coating it, than it won't happen as often. Many people think that it's just friendly touching, a hug, or holding their hand to comfort them, but it can escalate to so much more and if people knew signs and symptoms that could possibly prevent it.

Hiding it under the covers is like pretending it isn't happening.

But I am probably contradicting myself at the same time. Because if people don’t write it right than it’s trash and I would believe it shouldn’t be posted. Maybe it is because people who don’t know what rape is try to write it and don’t know at what extent it does when people read it and have been raped. Because like you say, it’s not romantic. It’s not casual. And it’s not something to play around with. Because it’s real and happens every day.

If it is well written, whether the author has been raped of not, I believe it has it’s right being there. Because some of the trash people write that say they have been raped and feel all rainbows and unicorns days after it happens don’t get it. It’s not something you get over just like that and that stuff they call a story shouldn’t even be posted.

I am not trying to flame here. So, I’m sorry if it seems that way. I’m not sure if you are against ALL writing of rape on fan fiction/fiction press but that’s my view on it.

And I like hearing people’s views on controversial subjects. So I can honestly say that I enjoyed reading your essay. It was very well written.

-PLKAF

Excellent point. There is too much rape in the world of fiction. I'm not really against self-harm in fiction bec. it can be the result of a crime or event other than rape. But I've seen a lot of comments that say "Rape makes fiction more realistic, so it's okay,". Yeah, right. We can write about anything: love, politics, racism...but somehow it's just not real enough. So let's throw in a little rape. See! Works like a charm. That's just dumb. Just 'coz it's real doesn't mean we should enshrine it in fiction. It happens in real life and that's why it's rightfully addressed in the news, in support groups, in history lessons, biographies and true-to-life movies. We don't need it in fiction. At least allow us one world-even the fiction world-that is spared from the evil of rape.

This is a comment to something flies.like.decay said. "Rape as portraying how people feel powerless to a situation they're dealing...using another event to symbolize what is going on with their lives..." Well, sure, everyone can be overwhelmed by problems, or feel out of control of their lives at one point. But if this is the type of situation that a writer feels he/she has to relay in fiction ( and not rape per se ), then why not write it as it is? Hell, I don't know of any private, personal trouble that is comparable to rape in the magnitude of tragedy. Not disease, incarceration, or betrayal ( I've dealt with all three. Don't worry, the crime was in connection to political activism) Not even death. Death is natural, it happens to us all. But rape isn't and doesn't. How can anyone think of using it as a substitute?

Also, I don't think the author is belittling those who are trying to share their experiences at all. Based on the reviews, the authors of fiction with rape in it weren't even raped. Doesn't that tell you something? Very few authors are actually sharing-because those who are sharing do so in reality. They share with therapists, friends, family, their journals, people like me who are the first ones to see them after the crime, even complete strangers. And I must also emphasize that, no, you do not need to be raped in order to speak up against it. Calling people hypocritical simply because they're not rape victims talking about rape is just too harsh. And if the author of the essay is a hypocrite for speaking against rape when she is not a victim, what does that make the authors of such fictions when they themselves haven't been raped? You don't know how it feels either. Who is the real hypocrite here? Oh, and by the way? Implied 'hinted' rape in fiction is still rape.

There's also one review which states that as long as the rapist in the fiction is not demonized or stereotyped, then it's okay to use rape. I don't think I care. I work for a women's helpdesk ; rape is the most prevalent theme. The thing is, no amount of humanizing the rapist makes the victims feel better. It simply doesn't matter how 'complex' they are. They destruction they wreak is just as abhorrent. To 'not demonize' them is an act of romanticizing rape; whether that is your intention or not.

I have to continue this here bec. of the space limit. The truth is that the lesser use of rape in fiction doesn't minimize the reality of rape at all. It exists- and you see it in the news, you encounter it everytime you leave your apartment and you wonder if someone is following you...students learn about it, people hear about it...the point is a lot of people don't even read. But they know of rape simply because nothing minimizes it, certainly not silence in fiction. How can they not when truth is screaming about it loudly?

I've read your essay and I'm just glad that you address rape at all. I've also read the reviews and I think I need to speak out for their opinions too. Most of them have called you hypocritical simply because you haven't been raped. I disagree. Nobody needs to be raped in order to speak up about it; to fight against it even if verbally. It's called empathy. Don't wait until you're a victim before you say "Enough." My God, nobody needs to be raped, period.

Thank you so much for this piece. I was beginning to wonder if anyone cares at all. At least you finally understood ( without becoming a victim, thank God ) what rape is really about. It's not entertaining, romantic or anything. It's just pure evil. And thank you for stopping using rape in your fictions.

This is a very thought-provoking essay, and one I can definitely agree with.
I do have some questions, however. I don't mean these to be confrontational, I'd just like to know your viewpoints if you had an inclination to reply. (:

You stated that you believe using rape, self-harm, BWS, etc. as a romanticized character FOIL, "zomg!" plotline, etc. is wrong. How do you feel about someone using one of these things from personal experience, as part of a plotline without the intention to use it as a character FOIL? Or if the writer uses one of these plotlines without attempting to romanticize it, instead using it to show the horror and tragedy of the event?

Very good essay. I think if people read it, they will think harder about what they write. Nice job.

Overall, this was pretty good. I have to say though, it's almost... insulting? I guess that's the best word for it, to suggest that someone who cuts or practices any other variety of self harm wouldn't know what they're talking about. True, there are kids in it purely for the attention. Until you've been there though, you can never even come close to understanding what drives someone to that. If that's a topic that needs to be knocked off the list that can be used, it's only because there honestly aren't words that adequately describe the pain, confusion, and hopelessness that go into it.
I agree with your take on rape as a plot device though. It has no business as a plot device and no one has any business making any of it look romantic.

I liked this. I can't really say much because I have used rape before but I don't think I touched on it much. I just hinted at it.

i would like to say that you make a valid point, but have you thought about the fact that maybe some people on here are just posting how they feel and not using it as a plot device? how do you know that they aren't basing those things off of things that have happened to them?

or maybe they aren't. only God knows. but still, the fact that you wrote this and ended with saying that words can't describe it, well you're right. words can't describe it. in fact, contrary to popular belief, words can barely describe anything relating to emotions.

"Rape kills a little part of you. It kills a little bit of every person you later date if they know about it. You may have nightmares for the rest of your life. Sometimes you just can’t be comforted and you just have to wait until the pain goes away a little."

as you said, none of these things have ever happened to you so how dare you say that? now, i have nothing against that statement but for you to say that people shouldn't say things like that becuz they don't know how it feels, well, it just makes you sound a little bit hypocritical. don't you think that we know that rape is not romantic? if i'm wrong, then please by all means, correct me, but i don't recall ever hearing anyone say that it was.

but i suppose that when you wrote this, it was your opinion and nothing i say can change it.

I see what you mean, but your essay needs qualifications. I do not believe it is right to take a cliched example such as you have in the beginning and use it to say all examples of rape in fiction are bad. I do agree that it should not be used to provoke sympathy, admiration, or ect. But I don't think that should give someone the right to tell others not to use rape at all in fiction. (Perhaps you didn't mean for others not to use it at all, and if you did, pardon me for misunderstanding. If so, it would be beneficial to clarify that)

I don't really write about rape, so this doesn't really apply to me. But I do have a character who was raped. (Actually, a guy) The rapist is not demonized. He is a complex character, certainly not good, but not a flat character, and he actually resembles me in personality. I think if the writer has a real interest in their characters that leads him/her to develop both rapist and rapee (I doubt that is a word...) and caution not to reinforce stereotypes, then the writer can show rape in fiction. Not as a plot device, but as something real. I personally love (I should emphasive nonromantically :D) my characters enough to develop them and not degrade them by creating plot devices like rape to simplify things.

Just because words may not be able to describe rape does not mean writers should shut up about it. People could argue words cannot describe anything emotional and horrible. All things like that should be shown respect in writing, but not be avoided altogether.

My point is, I agree with some of what you say, as in that rape should not be used to lightly, to romanticize, ect. Your essay makes a good overall point. But people should not stop writing about it, just be careful with the subject, not use it on 2D characters, ect.

Well, first of all, you have no right to tell me what I should and shouldn't put in my stories, and "So stop," will not change my mind on that. Although rape's not really my thing, anyway.

Second, you talk about rape like you have been raped yourself, which, I take from what you have said, you haven't. Neither have I. Neither have many influential and well-established authors who have written rape scenes. Or probably the directors and actors in Boys Don't Cry and Soldier's Girl. One doesn't need to have experienced it to write it and write it well. And for you of all people, who have not experienced it, to say that "words can't describe it" would be, I should think, hypocritical.

I do understand your problem with many young authors throwing rape around in their stories. But let me ask you something: Do their characters seem to be similar? Authors who throw rape around are usually still at an immature stage of writing, and tend to write Mary-Sue type characters. As one's writing progresses, the inclination to force sympathy upon the reader through a melodramatically traumatic past will stop. As it had for you.

Rape in stories isn't the problem, because there are many decent stories with rape in it. Your real problem is with younger writers who still write idealized versions of themselves. It's a stage nearly every writer goes through and you can't blame them for that.