Reviews for Depths Of Our Minds

LittleChoLo
2008-04-03
ch 1,

I'd be interesting to meet that guy. I was just wondering about the Thought Sequence, though. I initially got a bit confused, wondering if the protagonist coud actually read the boy's mind. Personally, I'd just keep it in ordinary dialogue, but I can see what you were intending to do now.

Real life stories are interesting in a sense that they don't follow the conventions of an author-created story: random things happen that you wouldn't expect, and it challenges you, sometimes. Keep observing scenes like this. We might be able to see a wider picture form if you focus on this particular area of life.

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