Reviews for Pains and suicide

Reviews For: Pains and suicide

Moonlit Promise 2008-07-18 ch 2,	abuseThat tree thing is so sweet but he's so mean to her now. I wonder what exactly happened. Poor girl...
The Good Reviewer 2008-06-17 ch 2,	abuse...and I realised had subconsciously run to the last place I had wanted to be. I had run to our tree, the tree we had carved our initials into over a year ago. -I do believe it would be ran not run. ...fallen fall leaves were crunching under my...-I think, fallen leaves were crunching under my, would sound better. Unless you change fall to autumn. “Yeah(.)” I immeadtly opened my eyes. -its spelled immediately. “I’m kidding, don’t get so serious(!)” I slapped him playfully(.) I think that is all the mistakes, besides some small grammar ones. Anywho, this is a very dark romance story. I'm interested in where it will go. Unfortunaly I am also read about 15 others, so I will have to read the next chapter another day. I'l try to get to it as fast as a can. If its over a week, please send me a message. See you next time. Or rather, read you next time!
The Good Reviewer 2008-06-17 ch 1,	abuseInteresting...reading on because there isn't much to say for this chapter.
misery sister 2008-05-12 ch 1,	abuseI think it's best to keep the first lines just italicized, the bold was unnecessary.
xX freedom after sacrifice ... 2008-04-29 ch 1,	abusewow. maybe i'm weird but that was really good, full of emotion. great job. - Cissnei
Silveralsa 2008-04-17 ch 1,	abuseCall me a sucker for happy endings, but I admit I'm hoping she still lives!
A. M. Baugh 2008-04-15 ch 2,	abuse'Back we he showed he loved me' I think you meant 'Back when' instead of 'Back we' This is pretty good ^_^ Although in a way it kind of reminds me of the way me and my husband are sometimes. =P you hit managed to hit my reminiscence button. (which is a good thing)
fourstitch 2008-04-14 ch 2,	abuseugh that sucks for her. he seemed so cute before! whats up with him? this is really good! you're missing a few periods here and there, but other than that its great. four stitch. ps; check out my story? i could use some constructive critisism
fourstitch 2008-04-14 ch 1,	abuseD: this is sad. but its very good. i like this poem four stitch
A. M. Baugh 2008-04-10 ch 1,	abuseEh definately gets the points of depression across and also nicely shows the scene. Hence the Eh at the beginning. Had to rub my wrist there for a minute. My only suggestion would be when you say '..dragged the blade across my wrist watching my life...' leave out 'my wrist' since it was at the end of the previous sentance. It would sound like this: "With those last words, I folded my departing confession; wiped away the tears that helped add to my pain, grabbed my blade and rested it on my wrist. I took another deep breath and slowly dragged the blade across, watching my life slowly seep from my veins." It might make it sound more dynamic. WHat you have there is great as is. So it's just a suggestion! ^_~
Apple Cherry Muffins 2008-04-04 ch 1,	abuseThanks for mentioning me. I'm glad that i helped. You already know my opinion on the story, but every one likes compliments so... I really like it so far. ~muffins~

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