FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| losing gracie girl 2008-04-04 ch 1,  | abuseno. bad. good poem though. yours until the wind changes, gg |
| Midnight In Eden 2008-04-03 ch 1, | abuseAs this is a short piece and is really just meant to encompass one idea, each word you use needs to be absolutely essential to the piece. With that in mind, I don't think you need the "for them" on the last line and ditto for the "absolutely". Also, I think L1&2 might work better as one line. Otherwise this isn't bad albeit a little bare. Midnight |