Wow... this poem was so interesting to read. It really draws the reader in. And what an original idea! I love how you really got into the mindset of the girl. At first, I was like...okay, this is different... but then as I read on I found myself getting drawn in more and more until I half believed I was that girl.
I also liked the way you broke up the poem. The uneven number of lines in each stanza show the uneven-ness (if that's even a word...lol) of the girl's mentality.
A couple of grammar points, though:
'I'll open my eyes,
if you would stop staring.' (3rd stanza)
I think that should be 'I'd open my eyes,' or 'if you'll stop staring'... I'll and if don't sound quite right together.
'Here, take my hand,
lets go out to the world,' (9th stanza, mistake repeated in 11th)
Should be 'let's' because let's is an abbreviation of let us.
'What are those lines,
running across your face?
It's spreading,' (5th stanza from the end)
I think it should be: 'They're spreading' because otherwise you have a mix-up of singular and plural.
I think that's it for grammar ;)
Anyway, I really liked this poem. Especially all of the questions she asks her reflection that will never be answered.
*Adding to faves*
-Amy

This was very deep. I like how you really did fit the character of someone who is menatlly ill. The format was lovey because it was just one huge broken up monolouge. The tone you made the poem have was really one of chaos. Lastly, the words you chose were ones that someone who was very loney would choose.

My favorite part had to be the when she broke the mirror and her reflection became ugly. Also, I liked how she was confused why her reflection wouldn't come with her. It sounds sick to say that, but just the way you presented it made it very real.

So emotional...incredible.
I agree with the other reviewers that you should've emphasized some words/phrases with italics.
Anyways, that was REALLY good. Period.

At first, the talkative style annoyed me.. it didn't seem like a poem at all - there wasn't much rhythm or flow. But then that ended up adding to the creepiness of it all. She's repetitively saying the same thing over and over and over... and it's interesting. I don't see the big moral about how her illness isn't accepted in society like you made it out to be in the summary, but it has a very eerie, sad feel to it. You feel sad for the girl and kind of creeped out. Very nicely done.

I think all the lines were completely unneccessary, though... spaces would have done just fine.

-Jesse

I love the emotion of feeling lost and being on the brink of madness. Although you could have used a bit of italics to emphasize the point (like the previous reviewer), this is still amazing. Great job.


-C.N

Wow. That was an amazing piece. Really, really, amazing. The emotion in it was incredible, especially how you repeated words like "go away, go away." Hah, I have a bit of a short attention span and long poems usually kinda bore me, but this kept my attention all the way through, it was great!

There's really not much i would change in this poem, but a suggestion would be to italicize some lines to emphasize the point a little bit, like maybe "I can't hear..." "I don't want to see!" "Don't look at me with those lifeless eyes!" Just a suggestion.

..this was great. so much emotion. and i loved how u kept using the same dialect.. every so often.. (: and this would have been more amazing if it was a short story about the girl.. but that's just me. haha.. i have an ide for a story now.. haha, but seriously. this was good!! A+