I was able to follow this, I think. Its pictures are vivid and engaging. Somehow I get the feeling I've looked at someone in the way you describe. So all this feels personal.

Especially like the last two lines; more or less of a summary.

Good work.

This made me think of an Egyptian drag queen at a diner after a long night at a club. I loved it.

"cuticles blackened by kohl" that part was great. overall, I found the imagery to be really well described and the theme to be pretty original. Nice work.

How is it that you twist such ordinary words and make them sound like something more? I love the author's note, it really ties in with the overall poem. Take care.

I don't know what I can say that hasn't already been said. I've seen many poems trying for a similar style/concept, but this is one of the best I've read. You use juxtaposition very effectively - explosions and late nights, vengeance and makeup. The carpet and drapes part was very fitting; almost shocking, but it worked perfectly and didn't come across as crude. Nice job.

There is so much to this one. The description is brilliant and I had to read it a few times to gain the whole of it. I especially enjoyed the part about the eyebrows gripped in an effort to comprehend the room. I liked how you used "ochre" and "kohl" to establish your message. Overall: layered and original. Nice work.

I like this piece a lot... the word choice is amazing and the descriptions were really unique and interesting with "vengeful makeup" and the way you described the yawning. The other thing I really liked was the carpet and drape thing,... that was a bit funny, but still really well done.

The only thing is what is kohl? To me that means the store... lol and spellcheck didnt like it either, but maybe I'm wrong.

Wow. When i first read the title of the piece, I was thinking something along the lines of the game, CounterStrike. heh, time to get my head out of the gutter then and leave a serious note. The first verse is exceptional with its introduction, as it is a specific scenery that expands and expands after each line. Continuing on with the imagery in the second stanza, it's effective in curtailing what the writer wants me to see. But I think on the third stanza you went off topic here a little too well here. I think the intended effect you wanted was loosely connecting a bunch of imagery into something deeper, but I felt that it was too focused within the diction and not enough actual content of the 'headshot'. It seems somewhat dragged on at this point, and I'm ready for a bit of depth regarding the 'headshot' and I guess I get a bit of that within the fourth stanza. Really, the last stanza says it all though... I felt that the conclusion was well done, and placed. Overall, i feel that if there was a bit of substance within a few verses regarding a bit more on the actual message itself, it would have come out much more composed and complete. The piece in itself, however, was an entertaining read and whether I like it or not... I'm left with a headshot in my mind. (although, probably not the one intended) Until, next time then.

arcane

Gorgeous words. It's funny how you never notice that you usually don't read every single word until you come across a poem in which you actually DO read every single word and you love it. This was beautiful.

- Lady Glass