FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Twilight Starr 2008-08-06 ch 1,   | I would change "My brain would form no coherent sentence." to "My brain wouldn't form any coherent sentences." It just sounds better to me. You showed the feelings very well. I felt really sorry for her. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| d666lisa 2008-05-17 ch 1, | Good story :) |
| ashy.a 2008-05-12 ch 1, | I liked it.It's exactly how i felt,when my crush told me he liked another lass.Or whenever I saw them together. Your doing a good job,keep it up. =) |
| Let Them Eat Cake 2008-04-18 ch 1, | the fact that the reader doesn't really get to know the characters is actually a little cool. this a depressing and very short one-shot... AWESOME! It was very nice! good job! -Kay (Let Them Eat Cake) |
| your bestfriend(chubby one) 2008-04-06 ch 1, | did you really do that "loud cancer"?? |
| -Rock 'n' Rose Bubbles- 2008-04-06 ch 1, | aww i know how that feels... pretty accurate lol. good job. |
| Tranquil Thorns 2008-04-06 ch 1, | Ah, unrequited love. =/ I sympathize with the narrator. I can probably even relate in part, too. I thought the feelings and thoughts were excellently conveyed, especially ('Aren't we alike, Joe? Aren't we alike in so many ways?'). At one point I would have thought that the ending was a little too dramatic, but I know that feeling. Nicely told. |