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| dragonflydreamyr 2008-06-04 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a very fun and uplifting poem. Your rhyme scheme fits very beautifully in this piece. It's that kind of rhyme that's so natural, you begin to forget that it's not natural for everything in the world to rhyme while you're reading it. I love the line "She pulls tears from the heavens." Very beautiful. I must ask: why are the four lines in the center seperated. Why not make them into one stanza. Otherwise, amazing job! |
| visvisvivimvi 2008-05-25 ch 1, | abusethis is such a whimsical, fun poem. my only suggestion is that you don't put gravity as the title so we can guess what you are describing in the poem. it reminds me of some of the poems i used to read as a child. very nice! |
| foreversmiling818 2008-05-20 ch 1, | abuseAll of your lines are so eloquent! I could never write poems this well. This is one of my favorites out of everything you've done. |
| Flaran 2008-05-14 ch 1, | abuse"No butterfly-dragon" I love the imagery there. Flaran |
| Let It Rain 2008-04-30 ch 1, | abuseI love the rhyme of this piece. "Who levels the sandcastles" is a really kickass first line, too. It felt ... ancient, I guess. Great work! |
| clumsybella15 2008-04-25 ch 1, | abuseNice poem, short and good wording. I'm gonna fave it. |
| East-0f-Eden 2008-04-24 ch 1, | abusegood questions. |
| flea writer 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abusewow.. i really like this :) you have great rhythm and language going on in this poem.. nice job |
| fatbird33 2008-04-09 ch 1, | abusethe rhyming was mahrvolous |
| Perfectly Paradox 2008-04-07 ch 1, | abuseVery original thoughts. I love the first line "Who levels the sandcastles..." well the whole first stanza really is awesome. You have very strong and consistent end rhyme that makes the poem flow well. And I love the slant rhyme with the words "tides" and "eyelids." Very cool. Well done. |
| Smiling Serenade 2008-04-07 ch 1, | abuseVery strong imagery. Yet still a very fulfilling description. Gravity at its simplest. |
| Tranquil Thorns 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abuseThis is pretty cute! Exactly what gravity is, reduced to poem-size. =P They should give this to us in Physics instead of all those horrid formulas. This poem is much less painful, to say the least. Great job! |
| freaky.little.devil 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abuseVery beautiful. Well written, nice job! |
| Emma J1313 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abuseThat's really good I liked it. I think it was good that it rhymed. You seem very talented. |
| Drallimer 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abusei feel so un-deep whenever i read your poems! i had to read this one like five times to make sense of it it's really pretty my favorite yet... |