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| BettyBoop4w33t4 2008-06-18 ch 1,  | abuseEnticing. If I had one word to describe it it would be enticing. She opens cleaverly with Melissa and Marcus doing a bit of "heavy petting" and leads you down a spiral of arousal. Only then to be interupted by the all too famouse Clancy. BRAVO! I HAVE TAUGHT YOU WELL! |
| pixilated.x 2008-06-03 ch 6, | abuseI hope Marcus finds out that Melissa knew what him and Valerie were doing. Stupid loser! *kicks* Please update soon :) |
| Angel 2008-05-31 ch 6, anon. | abuseyour story is real good but did u repeat ch.5 agian and made it 6? |
| enaid 2008-05-24 ch 6, anon. | abusewell i hope that you have a great mem day weekend and i cant wait til you update next ^-^ |
| atreyu love 2008-05-17 ch 5, | abusemarcus is stupid. i wanna see what happens to him now. i hope she dumps his ** and maybe.. goes with Evan? and it hurts marcus. lol PLEASE UPDATE! |
| atreyu love 2008-05-17 ch 2, | abuseinteresting |
| Enaid 2008-04-30 ch 6, | abusehello hello this story is rlly great.. and im luvin the smut *guilty smile* but the fact that you do have a plot makes it even more mazin' i cant wait til the nxt update and as far as the ike and twin thing goes maybe a one shot aside from this story hmm ya that would be great. oh and love the mike and ike name... you like the candy's? i actually dont think ive ever had them anywhoo srry im rambling tt4n update sonzz please=) |
| TheInvisiblePinkUnicorn 2008-04-28 ch 6, | abuseI definitely want to know what happens between Ike and the twins, please write their chapter and tell us what happens! xDANAx |
| Th3 UnKnowN 2008-04-28 ch 6, | abusehey, that was great, the unexpected and all. please update soon, love it so far! |
| Beakin 2008-04-27 ch 6, | abuseOk, I know I reviewed before, but that was chapters ago. First off, I'm glad to see some plot development! I think that was what I saod before, and so far, there's been a lot of action. Secondly, the actual plot is a little hazy. I'm finding it hard to connect each chapter to one another, it all seems a little up in the air. The actual context is good, but there needs to be more establishing links between the sections. Thirdly, it goes the same for the characters. When a new character is introduced, i.e., Evan, right away there needs to be a firm connection/relationship told. It happened a little bit here, we know Ike and Evam are Marcus's brothers, but we don;t know their ages, how many years they've got (or don't got) on Marcus, etc. If these two things are improved upon in the next few chapters, I think it would definetely be an easier and more enjoyable read. Your friend and reviewer, Beakin |
| Th3 UnKnowN 2008-04-22 ch 5, | abuseyea yeah it very good please update soon or i cuss u over till next week lol\ update soon |
| Reviewer 2008-04-21 ch 2, anon. | abuseDoesn't this belong on LitErotica? Oh, and menstruations of his fingers? I think you mean ministrations because fingers can't get their periods. There are other spelling errors, too. You might want to proofread. |
| moi 2008-04-16 ch 4, anon. | abusecollege is spelled wrong... |
| fantasy4luvr 2008-04-09 ch 3, | abusemm well good luck with your transfer great storyline |
| crazychic7278 2008-04-09 ch 3, | abuseyea thank you for warning us and i understand about why you are not going to review..and great story by the way |