Really like the story, it truly felt like the characters had entered a comic book world. I felt that the house tour went on a little too long, it would be better to keep it short. Also it seems a little strange that the brothers would tell Gabriel that it’s too dangerous for him to fight along side them, then and after a little training suddenly allow him to. A conversation between Gabriel and the brothers telling Gabriel that he is ready to join them would help the story flow better. I enjoyed this story a lot. Keep writing.

Hi

That is a great fiction story i think if there is a comic book that is called manhart brother's i would read it because that is so interesting okay im writing a story like that at the moment when its done you should realy read it it give's lot's of info so dose your's the only problem i found is that for beginer's it may be to long okay that's all i got to tell you

bye

from

MBJem PS i loved it like i loved it as the story was great