FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Kenny's Friend 2008-04-07 ch 1,  | abuseGreat intro - really well put. A couple of the sentences were a little awkward to start, but you really snagged me with those first few lines. The universe you've created here intrigues me - I'd love to know more. The only complaint I have is with all the S-names - too many for good variety, unless there's a significant reason why. Otherwise, it seems like unintentional alliteration, which detracts from the flow of the story. As before, I stand impressed by your prose. You're an excellent author, and your talent shines. I can't wait for the next chapter of this one - I'm already hooked. Keep it up "Ken" ~ Justin |