FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| peaceinafrica 2008-04-14 ch 1,  | abuseWhoo, very interesting. Machines and demons? What a combination. You have a knack for description, as well. You have some pretty awesome alliteration, intentional or not - "balancing a brightly burning tongue of flame," "each intangibly beautiful bloom like an explosion of brilliance." Very nice. I would suggest, however, to go over it very carefully and fix a few typos. Especially note the difference between its and it's. It's is 'it is,' not its, the possessive. |