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| Qzie 2008-04-07 ch 1,  | abuseOh... that's beautiful. It's kind of bittersweet and I really like the lines about the butterfly. It's good. :) -Qzie |
| Princess-anna57 2008-04-07 ch 1, | abuseHmm interesting. Some phrases seem a bit random, but I still enjoyed it. Great job. Write on! ~Anna~ |
| Sexy vampirechick 2008-04-07 ch 1, | abuseI like this poem,especially the line "but I prefered to throw my innocence away instead of giving her a smile."Really nice! |
| simpleplan13 2008-04-07 ch 1, | abusebut the cold I feel/it's from my inside... eitehr put a comma after feel or change it's to is I can't get to hold myself/my hands are trembling/...I can't get ahold of myself;/my hands... brushing my doll's hair/it wasn't soft like yours/and the woman in the streets... hair;it... yours. And I love in the beginning the cold is burning you. That was nice. The whole butterfly and doll thing was interesting, especially the ending. I also love the part about throwing your innocence away instead of giving her a smile. Those were really awesome lines. |