 DeeFective 2008-07-23 . chapter 1Flow: I really like the flow of this because it's like one long sentence. Everything flows together very smoothly and it rolls off the tongue quite nicely when spoken out loud.
-Technical Aspects: There are no spelling errors that I'm aware of. The only thing I would say is that I would've capitalized the first word. But that's only because I like to capitalize whenever I can.
Stanzas: It was only one stanza but that's all this piece needed. I'm glad you didn't draw it out into a long description of what could have been said very shortly.
Descriptions/images: I like the imagery you created with your words. For example:
"an intricate tidal chart"
Automatically, I think "complex", "map" and "water".
Word choice: The word choice compliments this piece nicely because these are not commonly used words and of a higher vocabulary. The complexity of them meshes together very nicely
and it really emphasizes your point if you understand it.
Enjoyment: I really enjoyed reading this because I haven't read a poem like this in a while. It's simple yet complicated.
Poetic Devices: I think not rhyming was the way to go with a piece like this. Rhyming would have made it cliche and of lesser quality.
Subject: Basically what I got is that you are talking about the beauty of waves in the ocean and how they work in a complex yet organized way. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Other: Overall, very good job. I really liked reading this and it was extremely well-written. |