Reviews for Blind - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Blind

visvisvivimvi 2008-05-25 ch 1,	abusei agree with the other reviewer who said that sometimes repeating verses ruins the poem but it really works for yours. a lot of imagery and really provokes an emotional response.
Kikyuu 2008-05-18 ch 2,	abuseWell, after reading this second chapter (and realising it was here), the light has finally dawned. Sorry, I'm a bit slow. Hope you don't mind that I'm reviewing again, but my last one didn't fulfil the review requirements. Flow: I found that poem flowed very well; the rhyming and hints of rhyming that appeared throughout the poem helped to give it a nice rhythm. I think that it is a bit disconnected, but this isn't a bad thing since it forces the reader to make the connections themselves, and is more subtle about conveying a message. Stanzas: You use repetition to great effect here, and it really ties the poem together. Normally (as I said in my last review), I don't think it works well when whole stanzas are repeated, but in this case it gives it more of a song-type feeling. (And you got that catchy thing going on too. :P) Descriptions/images: The imagery you've used in this poem is really wonderful, especially since I now understand what it all means. Heh. It's not overdone at all, but unique with an underlying meaning that makes it even more effective. One thing I don't understand, though, is in the line "And the daughters who lie" - is that lie, as in lie down, or lie, as in lying? Other: I think one of the best things about your poem is that it actually has something to say; some intelligent thought has actually gone into it. I'm really incapable of something like that, so I admire it all the more in others.
Kikyuu 2008-05-18 ch 1,	abuseThe imagery in this poem is really unique, stuff I haven't even thought about putting together - "the butterfly sky", "We as a whole are split half in 4 ways". You've used repetition quite effectively to tie the whole poem together; usually I don't approve of repeating whole chunks of writing but in this case, I think it works. I also like the way you've used rhetorical questions to great effect: it really puts your words out there to the reader. In summary, I was really captured by this poem, despite the fact that I still don't think I know exactly what's going on. Nice work anyway. :)
clumsybella15 2008-04-25 ch 1,	abuseIt's a wonderful poem. I read the explanation and then re-read the poem. I understand it and it's even more amazing now that I get it.
flea writer 2008-04-10 ch 1,	abuseoh my, that was WONDERFUL! i love love love this fo sho! hehe.. i especially like the line, " and personally, now, i wait for the day... when the choice is pre-made and the daughters who lie mourn the sad deat of the butterfly sky"... so true :0) I love the repetitive second and fourth stanzas... they really tie this together into words that just give me this sensation of a butterfly's point of view flying through the lower portion of a meadow grazing the tops of heather :) don't know why it gives me that... just does hehe. I love the rhythm you have going here also! I could go on and on about this wonderful piece of poetry, but like I said, great job! GOD bless
fatbird33 2008-04-09 ch 1,	abusei liked the style
demonsdisciple 2008-04-08 ch 2,	abuseOh, wow, wow such deep ideas , especially the idea of the outer appearance and it's effects on our perceptions. I really like that because the story I am currently working on is about a group of very beautiful people who are basically horrible so this poem really pertains. I am definitely going to check out more of your work when I get the time because Blind was such a refreshing change from the deluge of emo poems by 13 year olds on this site >_> I swear, I was scrolling through the Just In page and EVERYTHING had the word sad or angst or emo or blood or cuts or abuse or something equally depressing in the summary (except Blind, which is why I clicked on it). I don't mind depressing things but there is just too much of it on FP. But I'm ranting now so I'm going to stop. Oh, thank you very much for replying to my review. It's nice when an author takes the time to do that ^_^ If you have friends that write music or sing, you should have Blind made into a song. I think it would work very well.
Perfectly Paradox 2008-04-07 ch 1,	abuseYou have beautiful imagery in this poem. I love the butterfly references. I also really like the idea of the raggedy doll of a blind girl... who loves the doll for the comfort it brings, not for what it looks like. Impactful. This poem reminds me a lot of your story about the alien girl. Cool beans.
demonsdisciple 2008-04-07 ch 1,	abuseThis poem caught my eye in the Just In section. I really like the rhyme of the entire thing. It just sounds really good. I'm not sure I understood the meaning of the poem, but that's just cause I'm stupid. Very nice work overall.

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