Reviews for Corago - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Corago - Reviews: Page 1 of 29

Melsinde Snipe 2008-10-06 ch 2,	abuseyey
Melsinde Snipe 2008-10-05 ch 1,	abuseW-o-w. It's really good. But the plot (so far for Chapter One) is repetative . . . you know? Like take so and so and protect. I still like it alot though. Plot lines like this never become tiring.
Alteng 2008-10-04 ch 7,	abuseI do realize that the formatting is an issue, but much of what I have problems with is I think the pacing and lack of description. You need to take some time and describe some of the events. I bit with Fotro being captured by the slavers could use some work. Did they sneak up on him. If not, then he would most likely struggle. He thinks he is a hotshot fighter, so he would give a fight and lose. There are many good points I can say about this chapter. Although I often complain about the slipping into the first person (Just ask Shadowhound about that one!), you do it properly and remind us every once and awhile that this is told from a dead man's point of view. He is given some allowances because he is dead. The thing with the slavers trying to shoot the parents of the girl was cool, and it left some to the imagination. That was exciting. I am still rooting for Vatos, and i can't help but like Iratos too. I also like that Demetrius has no fear of the emperor and will willingly kill the prince(s) if need be. That is so different than what everyone else thinks of him. I like that. Things are not always as we see them.
Alteng 2008-10-03 ch 6,	abuseSo, why did Vatos and his army burn Sedo to the ground? Or did they? You didn't describe the village in ruins and bodies strewn around. Is this meant to be a series of misunderstandings and something else making the smoke? The fight between Iratos and Amadeus was cool, and I always like to see the hero vulnerable. It also leaves a logical reason for Iratos to stay alive. The capture of Marius seems rather heartless, but I guess that is the way of the east. Of course, I am not so sure Marius knows what is going on anyway. I don't even think Amadeus knows yet either.
Alteng 2008-10-03 ch 5,	abuseWell, I was not exactly thrilled with this chapter, but many times those things that we hold most dear is not the same for others. It is a strange thing indeed. I have had many people to read Bane of Rendsberg, and most people like Olivier the most out of that group, whereas I am an Alteng fan obviously. Anyway, you get my point. There are some good points in the chapter. Amadeus's argument for the Viridesians to join the fight seems to be a logical move for him, especially with the thought of everyone there dead including his mother. But, Vesparian has a point as well. he would indeed have to unite the other kingdoms around to fight the Eastern Empire. That I will give you credit for. It would not be very believeable for him to have given in. I do find it rather incredulous that Vesparian would give up the emerald so easily. It seemsed like the gladitor tournaments were often, and these are precious treasures. I will give you credit that you do peak the interest at the end of chapters. I am interested in knowing what went wrong in Sedo, and why did Vatos go ahead and burn the place or so it seems.
Alteng 2008-10-03 ch 4,	abuseNot being a man, I can't understand why men would want to put their lives willingly on the line for this kind of a game. Of course, it seems like the participants can exit and forfiet the game whenever they feel inclined. And this seemed to be quite the melee and one on one fighting. The last man standing wins. it does seem funny to me that both Fotro and Amadeus are able to defeat these men. Neither one of them has seen real battle, and I am certain that some of the particiapants have. Even if Primus is a showboat (like Hercule from DBZ), he shows much skill, and I think that if the reward was good enough to risk life and limb for, his but would be kicked, and he would never have been the champanion. Anyway, that is my big gripe with this chapter. Just smack me, eh? I would hope that Vespasian's interest is something important and not something bad.
Alteng 2008-10-03 ch 3,	abuseYou do have an interesting cast of characters. Amadeus seems to be the most run iof the mill type of character, but Jari and Fotro are a fun little pair. Even Rachit seems to be an interesting little codger. I would have liked to have seen more of a build up in the shop and his introduction, and I am also curious of this Helios character. His introduction seemed a bit random. I still am impressed by the Eastern princes and their attitude. They both seem to stand out, and they are unlike what I would expect the emperor to be like.
mangahottie740.of.Dograb 2008-10-01 ch 7,	abuseI'm really sorry it has taken me such a long time to review Corago. I really like this chapter! A fight! I can't wait to read- which unfortunately may be awhile. But I promise I WILL read all of Corago one of these days. Overall, I really liked this chapter. Vatos had better watch out. ^^ Mangahottie740
Alteng 2008-09-28 ch 2,	abuseI like how you have painted the two Eastern princes. This was came as a total surprise. So, things don't seem so black and white. I am not so sure about the emperor. It seems a bit of an overkill for the army to take out a farming village. It also seems odd that no one seems to like the North or the East. I am certain that there is something to this. Then again, Demarios seems to want to remain neutral at all cost. Amadeus doesn't ask how he gets rescued or thanks Jari, but I do like that his concerns seems to be on his mission and the diamond and its safety. I would guess that Vatos will destroy this village and Jari and Fotro will have to remain with Amadeus. You have peaked my interest with this Vatos indeed. He doesn't seem to be the run of the mill character.
Alteng 2008-09-26 ch 1,	abuseThere are several things to say here. First off, thanks for the review. I can tell this is a well thought out story and you have worked on this for a long time. That says much. Some of the issues I have with the piece is the first person story back and forth. I do like that Punam is the one telling the story, because he is not the central character. I have a story that I have written but not posted that is worked like that. The problem I have with it is that you go back and forth from first to third without warning. This might be the formatting problem you mentioned. I like that Punam is speaking from the dead as well. Did that one as well . . . I won't give away surprises there. I was once told that you can't kill the narrator. I would write this whole first chapter in Punam's point of view, and make a few references to "I had learned later . . ." or "I was told by Amadeus . . ." lines in there to smooth in the scenes where Punam is not present. Of course, the scene with Adera was not really necessary. Corago's treatment of the Monofu was not very nice or diplomatic. I would be rather upset with them as well, but the Monofu had not do any hositilities at the beginning to be treated like such. This make corago seem bad as well and inhospital to guests. I don't know if you are intending for Corago to be a nation that has some flaws in that way. If things are truely black and white, the Monofu can leave with a huff and a curse, but I would not have one of the guards grabbing elbows to roughly escort the visitor out. Amadeus is an interesting name to be giving a warrior. You are aware that his name means 'love god', eh? I guess I should talk, my character's name means 'Old English Jack'. He gets a goodly amount of harassment about that one. But, the name does fit him. So, does this mean Amadeus is going to do some womanizing? Oh, you say hush! The fight scenes seem a bit off or a little too sudden. The first one between Amadeus and Wulfgar might be alright, but it would have been nice to see him somewhat as a worthy opponent, since the audience had thought him so. The same can be said of Punam and Demetrius. Puman is suppose to be a great warrior or trainer. It seems like he could get a few swings in there before he is killed. Of course, all the pirates could rush him at once and take him down. Anyway, enough of my gripes. It is a good set up.
BlazingStarPhoenix 2008-09-25 ch 26,	abuseWOW is all I can say. Next part please! BSP X
BlazingStarPhoenix 2008-09-25 ch 25,	abuseWOW, I never saw that coming. Emeric a king, hope he can deal with it. This lovely fiction is picking up in pace, just how I like it. BSP X
BlazingStarPhoenix 2008-09-25 ch 24,	abuseSo the mysterious gems are mentioned again. I wonder what will occur when all of the stones are finally gathered in one place. Oh well, guess I'll have to wait and find out. :) BSP X
BlazingStarPhoenix 2008-09-25 ch 23,	abuseSounds like the drums of war are pounding everywhere. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Right off I go. BSP X
BlazingStarPhoenix 2008-09-25 ch 22,	abuseI got shivers down my back when I reached the part with the crimson eye. Another great chapter. BSP X

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