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| Shadows in the Fire 2008-04-19 ch 1,  | abuseI love it. -Shadow |
| Nestalgica 2008-04-09 ch 1, | abuseAwesome stuff, that juxtaposition of despair blooming like flowers is excellent. Obviously, you wrote this to cover a whole bunch of people -- you did a good job reaching out to how they really feel. I'm sure there are some people who'd nod their heads at this. I think some of your word choice is a little off, and it breaks the rhythm a bit: "regurgitated" [first stanza], "as well as" [second stanza], "repeatedly" [fourth stanza]... stuff like that. And I definitely support the message, but (just as a personal opinion) "Keep tryin'" (without examples of some of the good things in life, even if they're small good things) is a little empty for some. Maybe play with expanding the "Keep tryin'"s into, for instance, a time when the three triplets help her smile? I dunno, just a suggestion. :) Keep writing! -Max |