|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Nemonus 2008-04-13 ch 1, | abuseA commentary on modern people, eh? I like the line "I view your awe, and wish it mine" very much. Elsewhere the rhythm is generally good, though sometimes I thought that line breaks could do with reworking. "winds hold serve" doesn't evoke the wind-ness that another verb besides "hold serve" could. Not bad; there's certainly thought behind it, and the rhythm is good. |
| Princess-anna57 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abuseVery nice piece. Excellent job. Write on. ~Anna~ |
| Random-Idiocity 2008-04-10 ch 1, | abuseGreat job on this. I like how it portrays a letter effect, as if you meant to make it like we are the reader / narrator. Keep it Up! |